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THE HATS OF GRIEF

There are many hats of grief. So many different reasons for grieving. Our congregation has many “sizes, shapes and styles” right now. We have people who are fighting against the hard word of cancer. We have a precious saint who goes to dialysis three times a week, waiting for a transplant. We have a woman grieving the loss of her husband. Me, grieving the loss of my dad, who passed away a couple of months ago. One member, the loss of a precious pet. One family who is grieving the loss of the husband’s job and the many bills piling up and no fathomable way to pay them. Many who have lost their ability to, go even one day, without pain. Several who have become “prisoners” in their home because of age. Many who are still grieving the loss of a child. Others are going through the grief of depression. Some, because of storms, property is lost. Another is grieving because of bullying. One of my personal griefs today is for, my daughter, Navy son-in-law and family, who lost everything they owned in a semi-moving truck fire, as it was moving them to the complete other side of the U.S. (From Virginia to the state of Washington.) They arrived safely, but only with what their two cars could hold and what was on their backs. She is trying to set up their new home and every day brings another precious treasure that has been lost in the ashes. Right now, she is making lists and lists of all that was on that truck, for the insurance. It is reliving that fire every day! She is only spending an hour a day, because it is so painful to spend more than that.  (I want to say here, thank you for all of you who have helped them. They will be ok. Their faith in God is strong! But please keep them in your prayers!)

Even though it has been almost 17 years since I lost my husband, at times it seems like yesterday. Other times a lifetime ago. Today, while writing this, I am reminded he would have turned 75 today. The quote, below, I read on the ‘We Are Widow Warriors’ post, on Facebook. If you are experiencing the fact of losing your husband, I recommend it highly.  Below is a quote from it that made so much sense and is so true. If you are experiencing ANY type of grief, it will help you to understand all the emotions that are running through your heart right now. (I want to point out that it is ok to be feeling these emotions.)

“Grief has many physical symptoms. What we feel in our heart, our body feels too. You are not imaging it.

• Exhaustion-Deep, overwhelming tiredness that rest doesn’t always fix.
• Sleep Problems-Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, or sleeping too much.
• Headaches-Tension and stress can cause frequent or lasting headaches.
• Body Aches-Grief can show up as unexplained pain.
• Stomach Issues-Nausea, loss of appetite, butterflies, or a heavy feeling.
• Weakened Immune System-You may get sick more easily.
• Chest Tightness-That heavy, aching feeling in your chest.
• Shortness of Breath-Grief can take your breath away.
• Heart Palpitations-Your heart may race for no clear reason.
• Brain Fog-Trouble concentrating, remembering, or making decisions.

Your body is not weak. It is carrying a very heavy load. Be gentle with yourself. You are doing the best you can.”

 Those of us who are grieving for ANY cause, are on a new journey we have never been on before. Our lives are changed forever. Grief isn’t just missing what was. It’s learning to live without what will never be. We need God given courage to keep on taking one foot in front of the other. Below are some verses from the Bible that help us remember that God is right by our side and helping us through the pain and loss.

Joshua 1:9 “…Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”

Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you, be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you. I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

Psalm 27:1 “The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” and verses 13-14 “I would have lost heart unless I believed in the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord, be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!”

Psalm 34:17-18 “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit.”

There are so many passages in the Old and New Testaments to give us assurance that God is by our side, helping us walk and sometimes crawl, through the devastations of this life. Have faith in God even when it feels so hard, because the answers to your prayers are no! When you don’t understand why these things happen, keep your hope in God’s promises. When we ask why, reach out in trust to God. When we feel like giving up and just want to fall into the world and its seemingly easy answers to the pain, keep your faith in God! God has not changed. He has been with us in the past, present and will be in the future!

Look up the lives of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in Daniel 3. They still had to go through the intense fire, but yet God was with them in it. God has never promised us “an easy ride” on this earth! We will have struggles on this earth. When we go through these trials, we see our faith and trust in God actually making us stronger-giving us peace-helping us to breathe through the struggle.

Hang in there, especially if your grief is fresh and raw. Sometimes, all we can do is to take one step at a time. But remember, God is the only way to forge ahead into the future. John 16:33 reads “…in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”  

‘At my lowest, God is my hope. At my darkest, God is my light. At my weakest, God is my strength. At my saddest, God is my comforter.’ -Kelly’s Treehouse-

Grief is a personal journey. It doesn’t have to be like any one else’s or in the same time frame. Hang on! The only way to get through each step is to lean on God and His promises! It is normal to isolate and not reach out. I have wanted to stay “in my bubble.” I understand! That is ok. But, don’t stay there. Try to reach out to someone who will listen, keep your words to themselves and help you through the rawness. There are many types of Christian grief groups out there. There is nothing wrong with reaching out to them. But also, remember, reach out to God for His help. Dust off your Bible and read how God consoles the grieving.

 I will leave you with the verse I turn to, for help, when I go through grief or when someone reaches out to me, in their pain.                            

 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

Grief never totally goes away. But does become softer.  Be graceful to yourself to let yourself grieve, in your own way. Never give up! You will find happiness in this life again. Keep the joy of the Lord in your heart. Turn to God. With trust, faith, hope and love in the Lord, you can walk through the grief journey you are on. May God bless you on your journey of the “different hats of grief!”

Till next time!

                                       Keela

TOTAL LOSS

“Deemed a total loss.” Those were the words we knew were a fact, but dreaded just the same. My daughter, her Navy husband, my four grandkids and my two grand-dogs, have been on a cross-country journey to their new home in (Whidbey Island), Oak Harbor, Washington. They have been stationed in Norfolk, Virginia for about 15 years. This is their first move. Unusual, but has been a true blessing for them. He just got back from an eleven-month deployment on the USS Gerald Ford. They have been just getting acclimated to having husband-dad home once again. Then, they must head out in two cars, four kids and two dogs. They have been going to places and family all along their route. They were so blessed by God to be with family here in Missouri when they got the devastating news.

The semi-moving truck with all their possessions, left before they did. While they were at my sons and daughter-in-law’s house, they got the terrible news. The truck with everything they had, except what was in their two cars they were driving and what was on their backs, had caught fire and everything was disintegrated into ashes!

Yes, we know that all that was just stuff and, and more importantly, they are all safe! But even so, it is hard to digest. When they sent the picture of the truck, to them, it became real. While they were here for a couple of days, my daughter started thinking of some of the things that were incinerated, in the fire and water: the quilt my grandmother had hand stitched, the silverware that his grandma had just given them, the buffet that had been my great-aunts and then my mother’s and then hers. She had spent a long-time refinishing that and she loved it so much. Now, all gone. Plus, so many other things that she will think about, once they get to their destination and try to “set up” their new home. She was feeling guilty that she had told their 7-year-old that there was just not enough room in the car for all her stuffies that meant so much to her little heart. Now, all gone!

They have turned to God for comfort and trust! They have God in the middle of their lives. Earthly items do not last, but God’s presence and heavenly treasures stay with us forever. God is the only way to true peace! In John 16:33, Jesus is talking and reads “…in Me you will have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

I have started thinking of some verses in the Bible the good Lord has given us to bring our hearts and minds back into focus.  I remember Job in the Old Testament and all he lost. Job 1:21 reads, “…Naked I came from my mother’s womb and naked shall I return there. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord.”  Philippians 4: 11 reads, “…for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content.” The Apostle Paul wrote that worldly status and material gains pale in comparison to knowing Christ. Philippians 4:6-7 reads, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God and the peace that surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Instead of panicking or worrying over what is missing or broken or burned up, believers are encouraged to bring every concern to God through prayer and thanksgiving. He will provide all of their needs. (Philippians 4:19) God is the only way to reframe a person’s reality of loss through complete peace, trust and faith. There are not many Bible verses about losing actual material things, but it does focus on letting go of earthly wealth, finding contentment without possessions, and trusting in God as an eternal provider rather than relying on temporary riches.

I know all these verses exist. I have memorized some of them. The shock is raw right now. The reality has bitten hard! The fact of having nothing to start a new life in a new state, new school district, new life totally across the United States, is fearful. Below is what my daughter wrote. It is so good! I am sharing with her permission.

“Just about every single thought feels overwhelming at the moment. Trying to breathe in the goodness, while figuring out the logistics of the rubble. Continuing on our planned route seems overwhelming, but it’s holding space for joy bursts. Please pray for our courage, patience and strength as we take these next shaky steps forward.”  -Ashley-

Keep this precious family, (who mean so much to this momma and nana), in your continuous prayers for their safety, as they continue on their long journey. And continued prayers, when they arrive at their new home, that they will be taken care of there. Also, for my four grandkids, as they start a new school and all that entails.

God is holding, engraving them in the palm of His hand. (Isaiah 49:16) He is walking right beside them. (Psalm 16:8) God cares so much for them, even keeping track of their sorrows, even holding their tears. (Psalm 56:8)

In heartaches of my heart, events that seem so hard and unbelievable, a verse I personally turn to in God’s Word is, Isaiah 41:10.

“Fear not, for I am with you, be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you. I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

Please pray for their mental, physical and spiritual health. This is so raw and fresh right now. Please pray for them as they start their new life, new school, new job, new chapter in their lives. Yes, all their earthly possessions in the moving truck, were lost to the fire-a total loss, but God is still good and still on His throne. He will continue to hold them up and give their hearts peace to keep on, keeping on! Thank you for your much needed prayers!

Till next time!

                                                          Keela

In and Of the Lord

PHILIPPIANS 4:4 “Rejoice in the Lord always. Again, I say rejoice.”

NEHEMIAH 8:10 “…Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

The last blog I posted, I talked about my gallbladder surgery. Since then, two weeks after my surgery, my brother and I went to Oklahoma City to visit our 95-year-old aunt. Our cousin felt we needed to go see her, because she was not doing well. Two days after we got home, our dad passed away. A very difficult five weeks.

My 92-year-old dad had been in the hospital for a couple of weeks, with a bad UTI. After leaving the hospital he became bed ridden, not even able to sit without support. About four months before his death, he had been living with me for a year and half. It became evident, in February of this year, that my 70-year-old body and mind just could not take care of him anymore. His leg muscles had muscle atrophy because, after he fell October 12^th of the year before, he was afraid he was going to fall again; so, he did not get up and move around very often. I just could not lift him safely for either one of us or attend to his needs.

Before he went to the hospital for the UTI, he had been living in a long-term care facility where he had made his new home. We surrounded him with pictures of his family and John Wayne. (He was a huge western fan, especially of John Wayne!)  Before he became bedridden, he taught a Bible class there. The nurses helped him get into his scooter and he went to where they met. He also, talked to the people who were helping him, about the Lord.

In the middle of the sorrow of losing him, the thought came into my mind of feeling guilty or to blame myself for his passing, because he should have been still in my home, not in the facility. 1 Peter 5:6 reads “Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” The devil was trying to sneak into my mind and heart, even when I was in the middle of my sorrow. No, I do not blame myself for him not living with me or for his passing. I do not have any regrets. I took care of him the best I could. I am thankful for that time he lived with me, even though it was extremely hard and he was demanding; but I am happy and thankful for that special time.

In Nehemiah 8:10, the priest, Ezra had read the Law. The people listened to the words from the Lord. The people, in verse 6 of that chapter, lifted up their hands, bowed their heads and worshipped God. Verse 9 says, “…all the people wept, when they heard the words of the Law.” They mourned because all of the Law had not been kept. Verse 10 says Nehemiah, Ezra, “…and the Levites who taught the people said to all the people, ‘This day is holy to the Lord your God; (the feast of Trumpets) do not mourn nor weep.” They told them to go celebrate, because that day was holy to the Lord.  Then Nehemiah said “…Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” This joy of the Lord is the joy that springs up in our hearts because of our relationship to the Lord. The joy was not based on how many possessions they had or what they had done or not done, but how gracious God had been to them. The true joy! When we have as our goal to know more about the Lord, the by-product is His joy.

I am so happy when I get to be with any of my grandkids. They are scattered, in different areas now. Can I say I am joyful when I get to be with them? Yes. But the joy that is of and in the Lord is so much more. The happiness that happens on this earth is not the joy the Bible talks about. The Bible joy is because we know that we have a heavenly home waiting for us one day-because we know that God loves us no matter what or who we are-because God gives us grace-because God has given us the assurance and hope of eternal life-because we know that God sent His only Son to earth to die for us. The happiness-joy, we feel here on earth is external or of this world. The joy of and in the Lord is internal-of the heart and soul. True joy comes from the Lord, not from anything on this earth.

The verse above in Philippians, says to rejoice “in the Lord.” The verse in Nehemiah, says we get strength because our joy is “of the Lord.” The key to get joy in both these verses is, the Lord! When we have that type of joy, we can go through difficulties of this earth and still have joy. The joy of Christians is not based on agreeable circumstances. We can have this kind of joy whether we are: grieving-having to move from our home because of foreclosure-in bodily pain-feeling left out and alone-worried about the outcome of tests and pending surgery-worried you will fall because of your age-loss of your job and so many other pains of this earth. Instead, it is based on our relationship to God.

When Paul and Silas were in prison (Acts 16). They had been beaten-clothes torn off-feet secured in stocks-put in inner prison and yet, they were joyful. Prisons in Bible times were not anything like our prisons these days. Prisons were harsh-heavy chains-poor sanitation-extreme darkness and they relied on family or friends for basic food needs. “But at midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God and the prisoners were listening to them.” (verse 25) They were in one of the worst places on earth, just because they were teaching about Jesus. But yet, they were singing and praying. They were even teaching the other prisoners and the jailor through their singing and praying. They had the joy in and of the Lord! They knew that their circumstances on this earth were not important, but rather their hope and joy of what was coming when they left this earth!  

Hebrews 12:2 tells us, talking about Jesus, “…who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Jesus endured so much hate and pain on this earth, but His attention was not on the worldly agonies of the Cross, but on the crown; not on the suffering, but the reward. In the same way, we need to not focus on the pain of this earth, but the joy of the promises of our Lord!

Even though I grieve losing my dad to death, I can still hold onto the joy of and in the Lord, because I have faith in the promises God has given us of a future; a joyful resting place with Him. That is where my dad is now. He is experiencing that amazing joy of and in the Lord, with a home in heaven with God. As tears roll down my cheeks while writing this, and I walk on this path of grief, I am joyful that I have that promise too! That, is my God given strength through the Lord’s joy! Praise God!

Till next time!

                                                 Keela

1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 “But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus.”

GOD, I NEED YOU

As of today, I have been out of the hospital for a week. I had been feeling bad, painful ever since my dad moved out of my home in February. He had gone to the hospital, with a bad kidney infection and was there for a couple of weeks. Then, back to the skilled living facility. When he had gone to the hospital, which was about thirty minutes away, I had gone every day and I ended up with pneumonia twice over the course of a month. I attributed my pain and tiredness to the fact that my body was just at its limit and so very tired. We have had a lot of rain here in the last few months and all the pain I was in I thought was because of that rain affecting my arthritis and fibromyalgia. I had all kinds of self-diagnosed reasons why I was feeling bad and in pain. It ended up going to the doctor, he sent me to the ER. I had to have surgery to get my gallbladder out. It had been “leaking” into my system and part of it was actually dead!

So, you are wondering, what is the point of this blog post? Is she just showing all the woes she has had?

I want to tell you what happened in the hospital that night after surgery. I want you to see that, even though I knew that God has been there for me all of my life, I still felt alone and scared. I reached out in the dark of that night, to Him saying I needed Him. (I want to point out here, before I start this, that I had an amazing care team, except for about what I am going to tell you.) I was extremely weak, shaking, nauseous and in pain after surgery. During the night, I pushed my call button, because I needed help to get to the restroom. I had not seen an aid or anyone who came to check on me after surgery but a couple of times, when I had asked for pain meds, also, I was nauseous and wondered if I was getting the antibiotics I needed. Well, the aid came in. She did not have a smile on her face and made me feel that I was a nuisance to her. I had the blood clot “contraption” on my legs. So, I struggled to get those off by wiggling my legs out of them, while they were still on. Then, I tried to get my legs over the edge of the bed. The entire time the nurse aid was just standing there watching me. I tried to pull myself up, but was so weak and shaking, that I fell back. She asked me if I needed her to help me. Well, duh! (No, I didn’t really say that.) Then, later, now that I have a Dexcom for my blood sugars, it started going off because it was 300. I pushed the call button and told them it was high. After thirty minutes, she had not come. I was watching my Dexcom and my sugar was gradually going up. After an hour, I called her again and told her it was now 315. I could hear laughter in the background. She said, well, she would be there in a minute. I told her that she really needed to come address this or next time they came in I might be passed out! She came in after those “magic” words. The registered nurse came in after hearing about my blood sugar incident. Bless her heart! I am so grateful for her! She did not let any of the aids come in after that. The rest of the night, she was the only person who took care of me, except for a male nurse that came in a couple of times. As of 12:30 am, my nighttime meds had not been given to me by the aids, nor pain meds-nor anti-nausea meds nor antibiotics started. Two of those pills were for blood pressure.  I was having high blood pressure and trouble getting my sugar down. She started the antibiotics, gave me anti-nausea meds and gave me some pain meds. So, she came in quite a bit to check on me, doing the job of the aids and her job as a nurse, as well. I knew that she was going to take care of me, so some of the fear and anxiety left. I felt safe and cared for.

I know what to do when I get fearful, alone and stressed. I have taught others what to do when they feel far from God. I knew there was a contemporary Christian music station on my tv. The first song was by Sanctus Reel called “Today, Tomorrow and Forever.” It talked about that we don’t have to understand, but just know that God is always there for us, no matter what. I started praying, thanking God for that promise. I started repeating Philippians 4:6-7, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” I kept repeating those verses. The song by Brandon Lake called “Hard Fought Halleluiah” came on. Reminding us to go to God in the good times and praise Him. But also, in those hard times we need to praise Him also. I heard a song by Tasha Layton called “Never.” It helped me remember that God never leaves us alone-never lets us down-never leaves us broken-never stops holding on to us. Then, a song that has so much meaning to my heart, “It is Well” (Make It Well) by Mercy Me. I started to cry. The nurse who had been caring for me, came in about then. She said “oh, no, honey, what is wrong.” I told her about the peace that the songs, my prayer and the Bible verses had brought me. She talked to me for a few minutes and I shared that God was reminding me that He was always there in the midst of dark-hard times- always. Making sure I was ok; she left to take care of all the other people who were needing help that night, who the aids were not taking care of and doing their jobs. My blood pressure and blood sugars had remained high no matter how much insulin the doctor ordered for her to give me or blood pressure meds she put into my IV. She gave me some more meds for both and left the room saying she would be back soon to check them again. While she was gone, I still had the music on my tv. I heard a song by Bay Turner called “Somebodies Praying.” It reminded me that people were praying for me. Maybe not right that moment in the wee hours of the morning, but I knew there were prayers going up to God for me. I heard a song by Chris Tomlin called “How Good It Is.” It talks about praising God for all the good He has done and how great His name is. The nurse came back in to check my vitals. My blood sugar was lower and my blood pressure was lower. She clapped and had the prettiest smile on her face. I told her, to remember when I had told her that God had me in His hands and works in our lives? She said yes, she remembered. Usually pain meds “knock me out.” But not this time. I heard the song by Stephen McWhirter called “Come Jesus Come.” I prayed to God if that was what my lot for that night was, I was ready to go to Him. But then the last song I heard before finally drifting into a much-needed sleep, was “Finished” by Caleb and John. It talks about that God was not finished with me yet. I remember smiling, feeling God given peace and letting the pain meds give me the rest I needed after surgery.

I know there are some who do not feel that we should listen to Christian music with instruments. I do not want to offend you at all. I do not want you to go against your beliefs. I respect how you feel about that. I am not telling you to listen to contemporary Christian music. That is a choice each one of us have to make. So, why in the world did I tell you this story? I shared this with you because I want you to realize that God is always active in our lives. He helps to calm our hearts. Brings us peace. He brings to our minds scripture and songs that help us search for His light in the middle of our darkest, scariest times. I have been a Christian for 60 years now. If you have read my new book, you will see that I have been through some really hard times in my life. But I have always been reminded through song-prayer-scripture that God never left me. He is always there. We just have to remember to reach out to Him. He will bring us much needed peace, even to an old lady like me, when we are in the middle of the darkness, scared, weak and helpless! His Light is always guiding us back to Him when we fall into the pit of darkness.

I will probably never see the amazing nurse again who was so caring to me. But I hope I planted some seeds in her heart, that she will search out for God and tell God that she needs Him. We can throw those seeds even in the hardest darkest times of our lives! I needed God that night and He reached out and helped me find the much-needed peace, I so desperately needed. He answered my plea, ‘God, I Need You.’

Till next time!

                                                    Keela

(By the way, I do not like confrontation. I try not to complain. But this time, I told the Patient Advocate, who came in the next day to see how my stay was, exactly what had happened. I told him the whole story about the aids and praised the nurse who spent so much time with me that early morning. He was very impressed with the nurse who took it upon herself to be the sole caregiver of me that night. He said the aids were paid way too much to not do their job to help the nurse to fulfill her job. I don’t want the aid to lose her job, but I do want to save another person from experiencing what I did. I had told the RN that I would tell the Patient Advocate what had happened and tell him how amazing she had been to be sure I was ok. She thanked me several times that I was going to step up and let him know. She said I had helped future patients who were not going to be treated with the care they needed. Sometimes, we need to step up, out of our comfort zones, to help another.)

I’VE GOT TO GET THIS

Did I really see that? I was sitting on a bench just “people watching.” A 20-something year old man, was looking at his phone. Since he was looking at his phone as he walked, he ran smack into a light pole. He looked at the pole with anger and hit it with his fist. Guess he thought the pole just jumped in front of him and he was the target. (I just started laughing, not out loud of course. He might have hit me with his fist.) One time, when I was eating in a local restaurant, I noticed at one table all four of the people were looking at their phones. Maybe they were talking to each other on their phones? I doubt it. A lot of times, the shows I watch on tv, a couple is in an intense conversation and one of their phone rings. They look at the sender and say, ‘I’ve got to get this.” But do they really? What about in church services, when someone is focused on their phones? Maybe, they are looking up scriptures, but are they? Of course, I am not in a place judgement. The good Lord will do that one day. Where is our focus?

It seems like to me that our phones become more important to us, than the people who are surrounding us. Do we really have to get it? Or do we feel we need to answer the phone, because we want to look important or is the person on the other line, more important than the people actually around us?

You might have to check your emails and texts several times a day because that is part of your job. If my phone rings or I get a text, I usually look at it. I want to make sure it isn’t my dad calling or texting and needs me. Personally, I have found that, I think I need to check my emails or texts several times a day. Not because of my job, but just because I think I have to know what is going on “out there.”  It seems when I do that, before long I realize I have been looking at my phone for thirty minutes or more! How did that happen? I can get “lost” in Facebook so easily. I usually like to look at the dog and baby posts-the posts of people having a great time on vacation-this time of year, all the graduations and weddings-posts of my daughter and her kids who live far away. (Actually, I just stopped typing and looked at something on Facebook right now!)

Why have our devices become of such importance to us? The world is a vast place and we want to feel like we are “in the know.” We don’t want to be left out or left behind. But, on the other side, they can be used for good also. There are apps of the Bible we can download. There are apps that show us a verse of the day. I get a lot of cute, meaningful sayings, writings, that help me take one more step in this crazy world. Sayings that I can send to someone who is having a hard time. Posts that make me laugh. But do I get on my device or think I need to answer phone calls, at the expense of the loved ones around me?

My 92-year-old dad, who was living with me, has moved into a skilled nursing facility. I realized I just could not physically or mentally take care of his needs anymore. He needed more help than I was capable of doing. (As my doctor told me, I am no spring chicken!)  He is in a facility that takes me forty-five minutes to an hour to get to. I have been going once a week to visit him. I caught myself getting on my phone and he was on his phone, instead of talking to each other. I am going to do better about that! I have to drive a long way to be with him. What if that was the last time I ever saw him! My device got in the way, of spending important minutes with him. I don’t want to look back one day and regret I wasted fleeting, precious time with him. What if, instead of getting on our devices, we focused on who is right there in front of us!

This world and the devices we spend so much time in, are not important. They might seem like it at the time. But do we really have to answer that phone call or scroll through that social media? Where are we putting our focus?

Reminding us to not love the things of this world more than God, 1 John 2:15-17 reads “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world-the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life-is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.”  

Telling us that we cannot be a friend of the world, James 4:4 reads “…do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world, makes himself an enemy of God.”

Colossians 3:2, reveals where our minds should be and reads “Set your mind on things above not on things on the earth.”

Bringing focus back onto God, Philippians 4:6-7 reads “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God, and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

So, what is my point you might say? My point is something that I am working on and trying to be better at myself. Our time is valuable to ourselves and others. Where am I putting my focus on? Am I putting my focus on the world, instead of the people around me? What or who is really important for us to spend time with? Of course, you understand where my point or focus is at! Our Father God and service to Him.

Is there anything wrong with answering phone calls, looking at scripture on our phones, sending texts or scrolling through posts on our devices? Absolutely not! One example is, right now. You are reading this post on your device. I think it is good for our children to have cell phones. If they get into a bad situation and need your help, they can call or text you, and you are alerted on your device. If you have an emergency, calling for help is right in your hands. My point is, remember to not waste time with the things of this world, but save time every day to talk to God in prayer. Instead of using those precious moments for our devices, focus on God and the service we need to be doing for others. Read His Words in the Bible. Walk outside in nature and take in all the reality, that there is truly a God. When spending time with a loved one, talk to them face to face, put down your phone. Truly focus on church services and the Christian sisters and brothers there. I know losing focus is becoming harder and harder, at times, for me. Before I know it the devil has gotten into my mind and makes me lose focus on what is truly important. Don’t let him!!

Don’t wait until you run into a light pole, to bring your focus back onto what is really important. Matthew 6:33 reads, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness…”

When you say, “I’ve got to get this!” Do you really?

Till next time!

                                    Keela

(Remember, my new book “Deep-Press-On, A Caregiver’s Story” has been released! You can order from Barnes and Noble, Trilogy Publishing, Amazon and several other places. Actually, you can also visit Barnes and Noble because they are carrying my book on their shelves! Or, if you live nearby me, I always have some in my car for your purchase. To Him be the glory!)