October 2023 - keelight.net

FINAL WORDS

On the 26^th of October of every year, for the last 14 years, I have memories of one of the hardest days of my life. It was a life changing day. It was the day my husband passed away during surgery. He had suffered from many illnesses, mentally and physically, including depression. Also, congestive heart failure, which put him in the hospital every other week. He went in for a surgery to replace his aortic valve. The surgeon felt like if he could replace that valve, it would help his battle of congestive heart failure. The surgery would “blow”, as the surgeon said, his kidneys and he would have been on dialysis for the rest of his life. My kids and I felt he needed to make that decision of whether he wanted to take that risk. He decided he did. I was working twelve-hour days, so I had made arrangements with a dear friend from church to take him for that dialysis.

He went in for surgery on a Friday. The surgeon came in and took one look at him and said he could not do the surgery on that day. He wanted to keep him over the weekend and try to drain fluid off before going into surgery on Monday. I am so thankful for those couple of days! He acted and felt more like himself than he had in a long time. My kids and grandkids were there most of those days. He was laughing, making jokes and being onery, just like he had before he had gone into his depression. He went into surgery on Monday in better health, mentally and physically, than he had for many years. During his long, long surgery, there were about 15-20 people there with us. Some, stayed the entire time and even went to get lunch for all of us. Time kept ticking away. Finally, that evening, me and my kids were called back. My parents went with us. The surgeon said the valve was working perfectly, but they kept draining and draining but that fluid kept coming. He asked me if I wanted them to continue that procedure. Of course, I said yes. I remember coming back to the waiting room and feeling like I was going to be sick. A friend, went and got a cold towel to help. Finally, after another hour or so, they called us back. His body could not take it anymore. He had died. That possibility had never even entered my mind that he would die!

It is funny the things that our mind gives us as memories. As they had been wheeling him into surgery, with his funny little surgery cap on his bald head, my final words to him were, “See ya on the other side.” I had meant on the other side of surgery. Little did I know it was going to mean, one day when I go to meet the Lord and I would see him again in heaven, on the other side.

I recently, just finished teaching a ladies bible class centered on James. The book centers on what words we use. What words come out of our mouths that can cause pain or blessings to others. James 1:19-20 tells us we are to be “…swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” In the class, we repeated the first part of that verse at the end of every class. I have heard it said that God gave us two ears to listen, but only one mouth. That mouth can spew out many damaging arrows. The tongue has no bones, but is strong enough to pierce and break a heart. God wants us to grow in wisdom and put our faith into action. Part of that is being careful of the words that come out of our mouth. There are some people who think of something in their head and immediately it comes out of their mouths, not thinking that it will hurt someone. The enemy, the devil, knows if he can get enough of the wrong things in our minds, that they will eventually begin to come out of our mouths.

Colossians 3:2 & verse 17 says, “Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth…and whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” In Matthew chapter 4, Jesus was in the wilderness, not eating for forty days. The devil tempted Him with three different things. First, the devil reminds Him that He could make rocks into bread since He was the Son of God. Second the devil tells Him to throw Himself off the temple, getting attention from the crowds. Thirdly, the devil then told Jesus to fall down and worship him, and the devil would give Him all the kingdoms. In every temptation, Jesus said, “…it is written.” He was referring to the law; scripture we have access to today. The devil squeezes himself into our minds in those moments when we are hurting-when we get angry-when we feel we are not worthy to be a child of God-when our flesh is weak. But if we put the words of God in our hearts, through study of those words in the bible, we can push the devil out of our minds and hearts!

Did I say anything wrong, that day that changed my life forever? I don’t think I did but I wish my last words to him, would have been telling him I loved him! We had been through some really rough times during the last ten years of his life. There are so many words I wish I would have said differently, so many days when I was exhausted and frustrated and I know I said what I shouldn’t have. I look back and wish I could have had better words to help our teenager daughter through those dark days when my husband was in a deep depression. Our tongue can give peace to a hurting soul, if we just stop and think.

I have had several people, since my husband passed away 14 years ago, ask me, if I would have known I was going to have to go through those rough trying years, would I have still married him. Honestly, while I was going through those painful years, maybe I would have said no. But I know I would not have three amazing children, eight grandkids and three great-grandkids, of which I don’t think I could live without. I am also thankful for those years because I feel that I have grown so much closer to God. I learned so much about God from him. He preached at small churches who could not afford a full-time preacher. If I had a question for a class I was teaching or for my ladies’ day, I could ask him and “off the top of his head,” he could give me chapter and verse in the bible. His memory was amazing! He only had to read something once and it stayed in his mind. I am also, a more confident daughter of the King, because of his encouragement for me to write and be the best woman I can be. I know that through my published books and talking to women, that my story has helped other women, especially, to heal and to know that there is hope through God. And if we don’t go through trials, how can we truly exercise our faith and gain more faith!

So, what am I trying to say? I only had 36 years with my husband before he passed away. We don’t know how many more days-hours-minutes-seconds we have on this earth with our loved ones. Be careful what comes out of your mouth. Think before letting those words out into the air that we cannot just catch and put back. A lady from one of my jobs, came to his funeral. She said she did not know what to say. My husband’s funeral was right before halloween. Yes, you know what I am going to say. She said “happy halloween.” (I will never forget the look on my daughters face when the lady said that.) If you don’t know what to say to someone, it is better if you just don’t say anything at all.

If you are married, and especially those for many years, don’t take that for granted. Give them a kiss-give them words of encouragement instead of negativity.

“Life is recorded, not only in decades or years, but in events and memories that form the fabric of our being.” -Guideposts-

Final words. Those words I said are memories of a very stressful and sorrowful day in my life. If you never are able to change what you have said, maybe you need to just not say them. Think. Words of kindness and goodness need to be a new part of your life!

My Larry, as I said those final words fourteen years ago, “I will see ya on the other side!” I miss and love you so much!

Till next time!

Keela

THROWING STONES

In John 7, we learn of a powerful example of Jesus’ wisdom. Jesus had gone to the Mount of Olives and spent the night. (Luke 9:58 tells us that He didn’t even have the ordinary comforts of a home of His own to go “to lay His head.”)

Early next morning, He went to the temple once again to teach. (John 8:1-11) A crowd came to Him and listened to His teachings. (I wonder if we would be as anxious to get up early and go to hear Jesus!? Are we anxious to get up on Sunday morning and make our way to the church building?) Jesus sat down and started teaching. In ancient times, authoritative teachers sat when they talked to people, in the temple. As He was teaching, the scribes and Pharisees once again came to try to trap and confound Jesus. (See Matthew 22:15 which says “Then the Pharisees went and plotted how they might entangle Him in His talk.”) Here they brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, who I can just visualize them throwing her down in the middle of the crowd. It is not clear why the man was not brought as well. The Old Law was very specific how to “handle” adultery. In Exodus 20:14 and Deuteronomy 5:19, adultery was part of the 10 Commandments. Deuteronomy 22:23-30 is very specific about the punishment for adultery and rape. The normal punishment was to stone the woman and the man to death. The scribes and Pharisees reminded Jesus of that. (As if He needed a reminder!)

Jesus knelt down and started writing something with His finger, as if He had not heard them. He didn’t say anything. If Jesus had said not to stone her. He would have contradicted Jewish law. If He had said to stone her, He also would have gone against Roman law. Jews were not allowed to carry out their own executions or capital punishments under Roman law, unless approved. (John 18:31) Don’t you wonder what He wrote in the dirt? Some think He wrote the 10 commandments. Others think He started writing the names of these scribes and Pharisees and the women they had committed adultery with. I kinda like the last one myself, but as I said we don’t know. That part of the story is not important for us to know. But whatever it was Jesus did not answer right away.

They continued to bother Him. He stood up and said in verse 7, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.” Then He knelt back down and continued to write. These men knew the law. Maybe they realized that they could be stoned because of their own sins, if they admitted they had committed the same act they were accusing the woman of. In fact, Jesus here included ANY sin. Verse 9 reads, “then those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last.” While Jesus was writing in the dirt, the oldest scribes and Pharisees, left first and then the younger followed. This left Jesus and the woman standing where they had possibly thrown her. Jesus stood up and asked her “Woman where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?” She replied that there was no one.

Jesus tells her “Neither do I condemn you…” Some want to stop right there and try to verify that Jesus condoned the sin. But the end of that verse says “…go and sin no more.” Jesus not only shows forgiveness of sin but then tells her to sin no more. Do not go back to the sin! He did not condemn her, but neither did He condone her sin!

Some today, are so ready to watch and wait for someone to sin, so they can condemn them and some even start gossip. Especially those we work with or associate with, outside of our brothers and sisters. Sometimes this even happens between family members and our brothers and sisters in Christ. In the ladies’ class I am teaching about James, we have talked about the tongue and what damage it can do. I used an example of someone gossiping about me and the use of the funds the church was giving us, when we were waiting for my husbands’ disability retirement to be approved. His work did not pay him for seven months. Even though I was trying to work two jobs and sometimes three, it was not enough with all the visits my husband was making to the hospital and all the bills associated with that. Someone, member of the church, took it upon themselves to start gossip, slander, that I was giving some of the money to a family member. Totally false! Thankfully a friend asked me about it and got that gossip stopped.

When confronted with gossip, Charles Swindoll says, ask them to ‘Wait a minute. May I quote you?’ Which is usually followed by a long pause, stopping that damaging wagging tongue! Read Matthew 7:1-5. Jesus is talking about judging. He says “And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?” In other words, our vision is impaired when we judge others, because, as the scribes and Pharisees did, judgment is so easy for us to do. Especially when we don’t know the facts of a situation, and when we are prideful thinking that we are not sinners.

After Jesus tells her to sin no more, He tells the crowd at the temple, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.” He is pointing out that as the sun is the physical light of the world, He is the spiritual light of the world. As this light, Jesus exposes and gives sight to those spiritually blinded by the world and their own selfishness.

When we feel we are so excited to expose a sin in another, make sure you know the stones are true, that you are throwing. BUT DON’T THROW THEM OUT THERE ANYWAY! Go to that person and talk to them one on one. Matthew 18:15-17 explains how to approach supposed sin in one another. We are told so many times in the bible to judge not. James 4:11 tells us “Do not speak evil of one another…”

Throwing Stones! Don’t be like the scribes and Pharisees, who judged the adulteress, before they looked at themselves and realized that they were sinners too. The lesson of the adulteress woman, shows us that, yes, she was a sinner, but yet Jesus gave forgiveness to her and He gives forgiveness to everyone, no matter what they have done. When Jesus sets us free, we have to still obey His laws and sin no more!

Don’t throw stones so quickly-reach rather for Jesus spiritual light. He helps us not to walk in darkness but rather walk in His saving light!

Till next time!

Keela