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VOICES IN MY HEAD

There are the voices in my head once again this time of year. The ones that tell me to be sad because another year has gone by. The voices that tell me I am getting older and more painful physically than before. The ones that remind me of the pain in my heart over the loss of family members. The ones that remind me that I am a widow and am alone. Sure, my family is near. (Actually, one of my sons lives with me.) But the feelings a widow has, after her husband has passed away, are real. He is gone forever and the loneliness that those thoughts bring to her, to my, heart.

The beginning of a new year reminds me that, wait, I did not fulfill what I promised myself that I would do. It is like 2019 is tugging on my heart not wanting to let go. But then there is 2020 looming large and present making my heart realize that I have to jump into the new year whether I am ready or not. I still have that weight that I promised myself I would lose. (Maybe that cherry pie I bought the other day has something to do with that!) I beat myself over the head for not losing that weight which makes me feel so sad, “feeding” those voices in my head.

When my family had our Christmas together, we sang the 12 days of Christmas. My mother, years ago, had bought drinking glasses with each one of the days printed on it and the tradition is that whatever day we have at our plate during our Christmas dinner, we have to sing that particular day. My dad always gets the fifth day, five golden rings, which he has always made us laugh at the way he sings it. (The new members of our family, always cringe when they realize what we are doing.) I have so many things surrounding me of my mother, my grandmother and of my husband. At times like these when I am sad, tears stream down my face because I will not be able to enjoy the traditions with these loved ones again. The voices in my head get louder and louder trying to pull me down.

As a widow or widower, you see all the couples holding hands. And you long to hold that mate’s hand once more. You see all the families with little ones, and wish for times gone by when your children were little and realize that those were the best times of your life! But they are gone! Even though I have family who cares for me, they are busy creating their families, their lives, their memories. A person who has never been a widow or widower, cannot understand those feelings completely, of being alone. The feelings of being a “third wheel” at a gathering where there are couples. The feelings that you just want to “wrap yourself up” into a ball and feed the loneliness. The voices!

Those of you who know me, are thinking ‘where is that Keela we know and what has happened to her.’ I usually see my glass half full, not empty. I usually try to bring joy and happiness to others, not bring them down. I try to let my light shine for the Lord, but it sounds like the darkness has been trying to creep into my heart. I am just being real here. I am just voicing the feelings I know others have at the end of the year and the beginning of another one. There are so many of us who hear those voices in our heads!

So, what do I, we, need to do to get my, our, thoughts focused back onto our walk with the Lord and not let the devil take hold in our heart? How do we “starve” those feelings so those voices will go away?

1. The first step in anything about our lives that we need to change is: we have to REALIZE what we are saying or doing to ourselves. Instead of wallowing in those negative sad thoughts, voices, we need to realize that those voices ARE making us sad. We have to tell ourselves that we need to take steps to change our thought process and replace them with more positive, productive thoughts that are more positive voices.
2. We need to figure out HOW to change those voices to positive.  I have been trying to think of fun times with those who have passed away. Remember times of laughter and times of happiness that those people brought into our lives. But in the middle of those good times, there are also those memories of “not so” good times. Sometimes it feels better to avoid any memories of our loved ones because of those painful memories. But if we do that, we will miss out on so many of the joyful ones also. Think on the positive times! Let there be positive voices in our heads!
3. TALK to others about how you are feeling. This is a really hard one. We do not want anyone to know that we are feeling sad or feeling down on ourselves. We want to put on a happy face and not let anyone know the pain we are in. I have found when I confide in a friend, that some of that burden I am feeling seems lighter. It seems like some of it has been stripped away and we can really see more clearly how to go on with living our lives with the right focus once again front and center.
4. FOCUS on the fact that God has given us a purpose to be here in this time in history, this time in other people’s lives. This time to shine His light for others to see. But how? I have written before about Peter when he was walking on the water towards Jesus in Matthew 14. This passage in the Bible shows us clearly what happens to us when we lose our focus off of the purpose God has given us. Peter had an extreme amount of faith that he actually stepped out of that boat. He was walking on the water and looking at Jesus. I visualize Jesus holding out his hand to Peter. But once Peter stopped looking, took his focus off Jesus, Peter started to sink. He started thinking about the storm, the boisterous wind and waves surrounding him, he started to be afraid and sink into the abyss of that dangerous sea. Peter called out for Jesus to save him. Jesus was there to immediately save him from those voices in his head. Those same voices that tell us to be sad, afraid, helpless, worthless, vulnerable, that we are alone. The voices that tell us to curl up into a ball and stop living our lives. Who do you think those voices are coming from? Definitely not our Lord and Savior!
5. PRAY and READ the Bible. Connect with God. Regain your focus by talking to God. Tell Him how you are feeling and ask for His help. God already knows what we are going thru. He already knows how we feel. But as in the story of Peter above, we have to ask for help and reach out to God. God is always waiting for us to come to Him. When we feel alone, we need to remember that God is always by our side waiting for us and always ready, immediately, to take us into His arms. Joshua 1:9 reads “Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for your Lord God is with you wherever you go.” Reading the Bible connects me to who God is, who He wants me to be and gives me hope. At times when I feel sad, alone, helpless, those scriptures will come into my mind and help me remember God’s goodness and that I have hope thru Him of eternal life one day. One of my favorite books of the Bible is Psalm. There is so much wisdom and comfort in so many scriptures in this book. Here are just a few.

Psalm 145:17-19 reads “The Lord is righteous in all His ways, gracious in all His works. The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call upon Him in truth. He will fulfil the desire of those who fear Him, He will also hear their cry and save them.”

Psalm 69:29-30 reads “But I am poor and sorrowful; let Your salvation, O God, set me up on high. I will praise the name of God with a song, and will magnify Him with thanksgiving.”

Psalm 56:3-4 reads “Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You. In God (I will praise His word), in God I have put my trust; I will not fear. What can flesh do to me?”

Psalm 37:23-24 reads “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; for the Lord upholds him with His hand.”

Yes, the end of one year and the beginning of a new one, should be one of reflection. But we need to be careful that we do not get so caught in the past that we cannot move on with our future! We might not know what the future will bring, but we know Who holds our future! Center yourself in the reality that you were created by a magnificent God who loves you and only wants the best for you. We just have to do our part and let God be God! The older one gets, the more loved ones we will lose. The more we realize that things and people in our lives grow up and change. When we feel sad and overwhelmed with grief, do something for someone else. Give them a gift-it does not have to cost much. Take a meal to help a young mother with several small children because you know how overwhelming it can be. Get some girls together and go see a movie or just go out to eat together. Call or visit an older person who is feeling alone and cannot get out because of the affects that age can have on the body. When we interact with others, share ourselves with others, we can help ourselves and also them to refocus back on what we were created for in this particular season in our lives.

Voices in my head! When they are negative or sad, we do not have to let them take root in our thoughts. Refocus, share, pray and read scriptures. The good Lord is just waiting for you to reach out to Him and immerse yourself in His word. What are the voices in your head trying to say or make you believe? Replace them with the goodness that only God can give you. That is exactly what I will try to do. Will you join me in getting rid of those negative voices in our heads? Voices! How powerful they can be for our future!

Till next time!                    Keela

BLESSINGS IN THE UNEXPECTED

As we have come to the holiday season, I have been decorating my home. I see so many of my mother’s and grandmother’s decorations bringing so many memories of times gone by. My grandmother created a lot of holiday ceramics. I have sitting on my desk, the three reindeer that she painted. I put out a white ceramic tree that lights up, with red birds as ornaments, that she had made so many years ago for me. My mother liked the “12 Days of Christmas” song. She always hung the twelve ornaments I gave her with the different verses on it, from her dining room chandelier.  I now have them hanging from mine. My husband has been gone ten years this last October. He loved to play Santa Claus for the boy scout troop, for special needs kids and even as the Walmart Santa in my area. I have a precious picture of him as Santa with my grandson, A.J. A.J. was maybe about 4 or so. He is wearing reindeer antlers on his head, standing in front of my husband, Santa. My husband has his head turned to the side, leaning forward to talk to A.J.  The sweet thing is, A.J. had no idea that he was really talking to his grandpa. Such a wonderful picture to set out this time of year! One year my husband recorded his voice on an ornament that has his picture as Santa on it. The first year after his death, it brought me to tears hearing his voice and remembering how much he loved to play Santa and be with the kids. The picture I have for this blog, is my great-granddaughter, Delaney, kissing that ornament which hangs on my oldest son’s tree. She will never know her great- grandpa, but we will keep his memory and the memory of my mother and grandmother alive for future generations to come. The death of our loved ones is so unexpected in how we had envisioned our future!

Thanksgiving has come and gone since I last wrote. My daughter and family made the long trip here from Virginia, with four kids and two dogs. I had so much planned for the few days they were here: getting a picture of all my grandkids together at one time, spending a holiday together with them which we had not done for many years. I have been back & forth to visit them but the rest of my family had never seen little Iley who had just turned a year old and they had not seen my Navy son-in-law for three years! I was so excited for family here to get to know our littlest one and spend time all together. But the unexpected happened when they got here. Little Iley was not feeling well when they got here. We were thinking it was just a cold. But then she started running a fever and had trouble breathing. We took her to the emergency room and they sent her very quickly to a pediatric hospital. She ended up having RVS which is baby bronchitis and contagious to children under the age of 12. She, my daughter and son-in-law ended up at the hospital three of the five nights and days they were here. Not what we had expected the holiday week to be like. I was in charge of the two dogs and three other kids under the age of 10. I was so worried about our little one. I know and have taught women to not worry. But in reality, we all worry from time to time. We just need to remember to reach up to God during times like this and give the problem to Him trusting in faith that He will take care of the situation for us. I was so sad that they were having to spend their Thanksgiving holiday at the hospital. We took lots of pictures that day, but we had three family members missing from those pictures. I was so sad that we could not get all of family in picture at once. That had not happened for three years before and never with little Iley in them. Unexpected!

 I had the other three grandkids, Adasen who is 10, Owen who is 8 and Opal who is 5. Also, their two little dachshunds, one who is blind. I realized, even though I was sad about how the holiday was turning out, that here were these three precious grandchildren in my care. Little Opal was in the bathroom for a long time and I knocked on the door to see if she was ok. I heard a little voice say no. I opened the door and there she was sitting in the bathroom crying. I asked her what was wrong and she asked me if little Iley was going to die. It was right then that I realized I had to make this Thanksgiving a memory maker for these three sweet ones. (I won’t lie. I am very thankful for the Disney channel on tv, when they got a bit rambunctious! Ha!)  We played games, colored, giggled, read books and played hide and seek. I had planned on Friday night after Thanksgiving, to have a little Christmas for just my daughter’s family since we do not ever get to actually see them open their gifts. My son-in-law came but my daughter and Iley were still in the hospital. Unexpected!

That day I gave the three kids jobs around the house and told them we would go to McDonalds when they finished. I had them line up along my kitchen cabinet and we made some cookies, each one having a different job. I had them take their presents and put under the tree. During the time of our party, we had so much fun. My mother had a tradition that she would read a story she had made up about what had happened since last Christmas, in our family. She had drums, bells, reindeer antlers, Santa hats and horns and at certain times she would tell the drummers to beat their drums, ring those bells, etc. Since her death, my brother has taken on coming up with a story and reading it. He wanted to do it at their Christmas party so they could experience the fun. Even though my daughter and little Iley were not there, we still did it and had so much fun. My brother had a special gift for all of us after. We all got different colors of little ceramic trees with lights on them that actually light up, just like what my grandmother had made so many years ago. Unexpected and heart felt!

There were many blessings during all of the unexpected ways our Thanksgiving turned out. My son-in-law was with my daughter and Iley when this happened. He was not gone out on leave! This unexpected happening was when she had family surrounding her to take care of kids and dogs. My son-in-law had to be back home Monday at 7am, to go out on leave for about three weeks. Iley had to breathe on her own all night, without any oxygen before the hospital would release her. As of Friday night, we did not know if she would be released in time for them to start the long drive home before early Monday. We started thinking that we could fly him back, but then my daughter would have a sick baby, three other kids and two dogs to try to drive all the way back home alone! We all started praying that God would give good health back to little Iley and they could all travel home together. Praise God for answered prayers! The hospital released Iley on Saturday morning and they were all packed up and left about noon. I am always very sad when I have to leave my daughter and family. But this time I was full of praise to God that they were able to get on their way. Do I miss those little munchkins snuggles and laughter? Of course, I do! I texted all my family here and told them that they had gotten on their way home and said that I was going to go out for some shopping therapy!

Was my Thanksgiving what I had planned for? No, not at all! But when life throws you the unexpected, we have to look for the blessings that are intermingled through all of those unrealized expectations! God will never fail you. God is always by your side holding you up when you don’t think you can take another step. God is with you when your future with your husband is cut short by death or when your amazing, supportive mother passes away before you are ready to let her go! Life can kick us in our guts, way deep down! But God has promised us that one day when we become a passing memory, that we have a heavenly home waiting for us!

This holiday season, if your plans do not work out like you had hoped they would, remember to find all the many blessings that God is giving you and helping you through. Don’t take your loved ones for granted! Hold them tight, laugh, take pictures for future generations, put away your phones and concentrate on them and them only!

I want to leave you, this year, with my favorite verse in the Bible. One that has given me hope in troubled times and the ability to keep on going and working for the Lord.

Isaiah 40:28-31. “Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable, He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, but those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”

May God bless your time with family! May He bring you peace for the unexpected! May He help you to remember to be thankful for the times you can be with family! May He help you to be thankful for your blessings during the unexpected! Happy holidays!

Till next year!                 Keela

THANKSGIVING

I am already making my list of what I need from the grocery store, for Thanksgiving at my son & daughter-in-law. I am usually asked to bring the same thing: broccoli casserole, frozen pink stuff, deviled eggs and seven-layer salad. I am so blessed that my daughter & family from Virginia, will be here this year. My family here, have never seen their little daughter, who just turned a year last week. It has been three years since my family here have seen her husband, who is in the Navy. I will have all eight of my grandkids & my one great-granddaughter together. Those of you who know me, realize there will be a lot of pictures taken! We are truly going to make some memories! I am so thankful that they are going to make the long trip to us!

Let’s go back to the first Thanksgiving. In the early 1600’s, English colonists had traveled across the ocean to a new land. Most of the passengers failed to survive the first few months. The weakened remaining pilgrims from the voyage, did not know how to take care of themselves in this wild new land. The Indians from the Wampanoag tribe, shared their knowledge of crops and how to build shelter against the cold of the winter. The pilgrims celebrated thanksgiving as a part of their religion. But those were days of prayer, not feasting. Our national holiday stems from the feast held in autumn of 1621 between the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag tribe. This was celebrated, in thanksgiving, for their first successful harvest.

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. Sometimes it gets pushed to the side by all the Christmas decorations and merchandise. We as the family of God, should celebrate thanksgiving every day. There are so many things for us to be thankful for! Let’s look at some scripture to help get our mind centered.  

Philippians 4:6-7 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything in prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”  Paul was finishing up his letter to the Philippian brethren. He uses the word “everything.” He is telling them in every situation to pray to God. When we do this, we can find the kind of peace that only God can give, which is beyond our understanding. This kind of peace can help protect us from external corrupting influences and keep our hearts and minds, focused on His truth. Thank you, God, for giving us this peace!

1 Corinthians 11:24-26 Paul shares that on the same night Jesus was betrayed He said, “and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, “Take eat, this is My body which is broken for you; do this in remembrance of Me.’’ In the same manner, He also took the cup after supper saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood. This do as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.” For as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death till He comes.”  1 Corinthians 15:56-57 “The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” Especially when wetake the Lord’s Supper, we are to remember the sacrifice Jesus made for us through His earthly body, giving us victory over sin through Him. Without that sacrifice, we would have no hope. We need to be thankful every day for our Lord and Savior!

Philippians 1:3-4 reads “I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine making request for you with all joy.”  Paul ends this letter to the Philippian brethren, letting them know he prays for them in love and in thanksgiving, for all they have done to spread the gospel.

Psalm 107, starts the chapter out with “Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever.” Then,four different times in this chapter, we read “Oh, that man would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness. And for His wonderful works to the children of men.”  This chapter tells, in praise, of the things the Lord has done for the Israelites and applies to us today. Sit down and read this amazing chapter in praise to God for His goodness and mercy which endures forever! Actually, read the whole book of Psalm some time. Amazing!

Even when the happenings of life get us down, there are so many things we still can be thankful for. I have realized when I am down and out, if I start thinking of all my blessings-my attitude towards the struggle I am going through, changes. I look at life in a more positive way. I go to God in prayer and thanksgiving. He helps me realize that through Him there is hope for the future. Maybe my trial has not changed, but my attitude has!

So, this Thanksgiving when you sit down to the dinner table, look around you at your family and friends God has given you. Put away your cell phones and focus on what really matters-the family and friends who surround you. Don’t just start putting the mashed potatoes with gravy on your plate, but stop and give thanks for the gifts the good Lord has given you. There are many this holiday season who are not as blessed as we are. People who are cold and hungry. People who will not have left overs like we always do for the next meal. We have abundance. They have nothing. While you are reading this article, look around you right now. What do you see? I have so much to decorate every season. I see so many reminders of my mother in my home. After she passed away, I have furniture and trinkets that remind me of the love she had for her family and the blessings she gave us! Life is fleeting! Tell your loved ones today how much you love them! As I am writing this, the snow is flying outside. I am in this warm home. How long has it been since I thanked God for that? I have found that once I start making a list of my blessings, that there is just not enough paper to list them all. Put into your mind something you are thankful for and each day, pray for that one thing all day. When you do that, no matter what is going on in your life, your attitude will change and you will remember the hope that God has given us!

I am going to just write one more article after this one, before the end of the year. I don’t know about you, but my life is truly crazy after Thanksgiving. I am still working and as I have told people, work gets in the way of my social life! Ha! There are so many things I want to get accomplished before the end of the year. So many places to be-people to see-parties to go to. I have truly been blessed and I need to remember to be thankful. I am so thankful for you reading this article today and walking this journey with me. I hope that my articles will give you hope for your future and help you put one foot in front of the other on this journey, we call life.

The picture that I put at the first part of this post, is one Thanksgiving many years ago. My daughter, Ashley was in high school at the time. My husband loved the “blow ups” for each occasion-Santa, pink bunny and turkey! My oldest grandson, Austin is on Ashley’s shoulders. My granddaughters, Alexis and Aubrie by her side. And the little one is A.J. I remember saying “Ashley has stinky feet!” And that is the reaction they all had. What a blessed memory! One of my favorite pictures from many years ago. My husband has long since passed away and my daughter is now married with her four little ones. There are times that I feel sad about the time that has flown by but I look at a picture or think of something that happened and it makes me smile and brings me joy! Don’t just look to the past. Look at the here and now and be thankful! Cherish the memories and praise God for them.

May you all have an amazing Thanksgiving with family and friends! Take pictures so that you can look back. There are many of my family members who have passed away and I cherish all those pictures that I have of them, to look at and remember times gone by. May God bless you, give you hope and help you to be thankful, not only this time of year, but every day.

Till next time!                                                   Keela

A GOOD SOAKING

Even though I tried to steer away from the puddles, I still got my new shoes wet anyway. We had just gotten a good soaking rain and I was trying to make my way into work. The large umbrella over my head, was not helping to keep my shoes dry. Instead of thanking God for the rain, I chose to grumble about the puddles.

Have you ever noticed that when we are going on with our day to day busyness, that sometimes we focus on things that we should not? We soak our brains with things of this world and forget to fill our brains with God’s love and His promises.

Sure, I pray. But there are times I realize as I have been saying the words that my mind wanders. Have you ever done that? It really frustrates me when my mind goes off on its own tangent. My prayer has just become words with no meaning. Jesus told His disciples in Matthew 6, “And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men….And when you pray do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think they will be heard by their many words.”  This type of prayer is not one to soak my spirit. Our stomachs tell us when we need to fill them. Why are we so willing to dehydrate or spirits and souls by just saying words that have no meaning?

The scriptures tell us that our prayers can accomplish so much when we ask in faith. James 5:15 tells us “The prayer of faith will save the sick.” Also, in verse 16 of the same chapter, James tells us “The effective fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.”  Let me share with you of something that happened to a dear friend of mine. She has stage four cancer in a large part of her body. We as a collective body at church and also in our own personal prayers, have been praying for her. She has been on a special cancer treatment just for her. She got amazing news that ALL of the tumors had shrunk to half of the size they originally were! Praise God! She still has stage four cancer, but is much improved. Prayer does work! Prayer, when we are not just saying the words to impress others. When we focus on what we are saying to God, we can see what can happen when we pray! When my mind wanders and I lose focus, I am just saying words. We should not just pray when the bad things of this earth happen, but every day, several times a day, reaching out to God in love and praise!

When the earth has become dry, because of lack of rain, it takes a good soaking to even let the dust settle. Sometimes, because of our lack of focus in our prayers, our souls do not get the good soaking we need. When we don’t pray like we should our souls become parched, our spirits become dehydrated, because we are trying to walk on our own and “dodge the puddles.”

When I realize my mind has wandered off in another direction, I try to get my focus back on my Savior. I remember Jesus died on the cross with His arms wide open giving me a way to become a child of His, and a way to come to His mercy seat through prayer.

When my life becomes just one big blur, I need to remind myself to slow down and feel the good soaking that my Savior can give me through His word, meditation and prayer. It is during these times when I am so busy with things of this world, that I have started focusing on living the small story of my life here on earth, instead of the bigger story of my life eternal.

Rearrange your priority list and put God back as number one! When we can do that, then we can close our umbrella of this world, “kick off our shoes” and stand in the middle of the down pour and become soaked in His love and guidance.

Thank you, God for giving us this privilege to come before you, bare our souls and feel the welcome of the good soaking downpour of Your love!

Till next time!                       Keela

FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS

Have you ever thought that God created you for a purpose? My purpose is not your purpose! Your purpose is not my purpose! Has God given us one purpose or has He given us many purposes? Have you realized your purpose? Do we even realize when we are fulfilling our purpose? Is that important? What if we fail to act upon something that fills our heart, that was one of our purposes? Too many questions you are thinking!

The word purpose in Webster’s dictionary means: “an object or result aimed at.” Sometimes, we can see clearly a certain purpose that God has given us. Let me give you an example in my life. The church I attend, several years ago, went through a huge transition of people leaving for various reasons, some passed away and some people moved elsewhere. But then, new people started coming and placing membership at church. I think back to the difficult ten-year span of my life when my husband was sick and all the challenges that faced us. Many of the people who attended church back then, helped me through those years. I can think of so many who have passed away that were my strength and encouragement. There are several amazing friends who have moved out of state, who were there for me and also for my husband. They made me laugh in the midst of the turmoil and reminded me that God was always by my side. They were amazing friends to my husband and gave him some peace. They helped push the pain out, by me being able to talk to them about what was going on. They just sat and listened to me, I knew that they would not turn around and gossip. I miss all of them so much! (If there are any of you reading this, thank you for taking time out of your busy lives to help us during that difficult time.)

As I mentioned, there have been so many new faces and families now that have become my church family. I had a “light bulb moment” a few years ago. I realized that maybe I was in their lives right now to help them with challenges that they may be facing! Wow! I had many God given purposes during my difficult years that I can look back now and see, but now maybe this is a God given purpose for right now in my life! A purpose to give peace, hope, clarity and encouragement for others! Thus, starting my blog and publishing my new ladies Bible class book, “God’s Beauty Plan.”

There is a book in the Old Testament called Esther. It is a quick read, only ten chapters. It is full of so many lessons. It is the only book in the Bible that does not mention God, but He is everywhere within the book! This is the story of an orphan girl named Esther, who was raised by her cousin, Mordecia. Through a series of events, she becomes queen of the King Xerxes, of Persia. Esther was a Jew, but did not tell the king. As in most good stories, there was a bad guy named Haman. As prime minister of Persia, everyone was to bow down before him when he passed. Esther’s cousin, Mordecia, refused to do so. This made Hamen so angry that he asked Xerxes to command that all the Jews in this region, be annihilated (old, young, little children, male and female.)

When queen Esther, found out about this, (through Mordecia) she was urged by him to go before the king and plead for the salvation of the Jewish race in this region. You and I might think how easy that would be to go before your husband and talk to him. But during this time in history, she could be killed if the king had not called her. Esther 4:11 “…any man or woman who goes into the inner court to the king, who has not been called, he has but one law; put all to death, except the one to whom the king holds out the golden scepter that he may live.” Mordecai said in verse 13-14 “…do not think in your heart that you will escape in the king’s palace any more than all the other Jews. For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for SUCH A TIME AS THIS?” Mordecai was telling her that she would be put to death, just like all the other Jews. But he had faith in his heart that God would deliver the Jews during this time, whether Esther had courage to go before the king or not. The next part touches my heart deeply and should yours as well-he says, for SUCH A TIME AS THIS! Mordecai is telling her, maybe she had been put into this situation, by God, to fulfill His purposes in her life!

Wow! Think about that! Have you been born during this time in history, to fulfill one of God’s purposes? Maybe God is calling you to step out of our comfort zone and reach out in courage. Maybe your faith is being tested. Maybe you need to exercise your faith in order to fulfill God’s purpose or purposes. Is there something in your life you have felt you needed to do or get done and you keep putting it off? Maybe it is as simple as a card, a call, a meal to a family having a hard time, inviting a neighbor to church services, a visitor made to feel welcome or a hospital visit made. There are many simple things we can do that maybe are fulfilling our purpose given by God. But maybe there are also “larger” things we are meant to accomplish, but are held back by our lack of courage and faith! Do you have anything that has been tugging at your heart and you are scared to take that first step? In my life, getting in front of women to give a speech or teach a class, is definitely out of my comfort zone! But “God nudged me” and now, I know that my experiences can and do help other women to have hope, thru God, in the middle of their daily challenges.

Are you being held back by your lack of faith? Maybe you were put in this church to fulfill a purpose that God has given you. If you think about all of the people in the world and all of the years, that have been and will be, our lives are just a small speck in God’s history of time. Let’s remember, it is no accident you were born at this time in history, in a particular church family, in a specific job or in a specific person’s life. God has a purpose or purposes for each and every one of us! Don’t let a lack of faith and courage stop you from fulfilling those God given purposes. Don’t let a lack of confidence in yourself hold you back. If God brings you to it, He will help you through it! You are important! God created you! Every day is important! Have faith to step out in a God-given confidence knowing He is right there with you! And just as Mordecai told Esther, God may have created you “FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS!”

Till next time!                                      Keela