FEBRUARY 14
FEBRUARY 14th
It is almost that time again, to share something special with the one you love on this special day. My husband was always, even in those rough years, good to remember this day. We would go out and eat or he would have some candy or flowers to give me and a special card. One special thing he did for me was to go by Sonic and get me a sweetheart shake. Sonic has long sense stopped serving this. But I go to DQ instead since his passing, and get their strawberry blizzard with strawberries mixed in. There were many years, we would host a party with friends. We would play games-eat heart shaped goodies-just have a fun night with friends. They always looked forward to our fun. But then when my husband got so sick, we had to stop. I miss those good times!
After Valentines Day, we see on Facebook, all the special things that those in love have done for each other. We see their happy smiling faces. Perfect gifts given each other. We look at them and wish we could have experienced what they experienced with their valentine. 2023 would have been me and my husbands’ 50th anniversary. I remember August 4th 2023, seeing all the posts from my friends and classmates who got married that same year, and the special trips they took. It was hard to see those posts, even though I was happy they were both still alive to enjoy that milestone.
But, I say, what about us, the ones who don’t have a valentine or a loved one to share those special memories? Those of us who are widows-widowers-the divorced-those whose valentine is away protecting our country-those who have not found a person to love, they are single-those who don’t have the money to buy something special for each other. I remember the first Valentine’s Day after my husband passed away, my boys got me some flowers and had them sitting on the kitchen table when I got home from work. Yes, I cried and I dried those flowers. They are in my China cabinet right now. Every time I look at them, I remember that very special present my boys gave me. A true act of love that they did for me. They had grown up seeing their dad making it a special day for me. Those of you who have lost their loved one and you are experiencing all those “firsts;” I am sorry. That first year after my husband passed away: the first Thanksgiving-Christmas-Valentine’s Day-birthdays-your wedding anniversary; those are so painful and will always be difficult. Then we see, what seems like the whole world together sharing such joyful days together we ask ourselves what about me? Why don’t I get to experience that happiness?
Those special days for everyone single will continue to be hard. But let’s look at some things we can do so those days are not be so hard. Not saying we won’t feel pain on those days, but we can “bubble wrap” ourselves in the knowledge of God’s love.
- TURN TO GOD FOR COMFORT. Psalm 34:17-18 reads “the righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit.” If you feel like curling up in a ball, do it! That is ok. But we can’t stay in those feelings of a broken heart. We need to turn to the Healer, our God. I have found out that those sad, hard times, are when we feel the closest to our Father. We just need to reach out to Him. No distractions from the world. Just our eyes closed and talking to God. We can say anything, telling Him of the pain. When we feel those days of sadness, we need to think about scriptures that help you to remember you are not alone. God has promised He would always be there for us and that love from Him will bring us strength. Psalm 46:1-2 reads “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear…” I like the word “present” in that verse. It tells me that God is right there by my side, during those times when I need Him. He is helping me take one step at a time!
- SERVE SOMEONE. I remember around Valentine’s Day one year, several of us took the older women, who were widows of our congregation, to a tea room. We had a cake and bags of goodies, including candy, of course, for them. Philippians 2:3-4 reads “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” We don’t help or spend time with others, to be seen, but rather out of humility, we serve others for their sakes and to mirror Jesus. Matthew 20:28 reads “…the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give His life a ransom for many.” Jesus served us ultimately by giving His life for us. Guess what! One advantage to serving others is, even though it does not take your heartache completely away, it does help to diminish the pain. You are thinking of someone else and not centering on the pain you are going through!
- CALL A FRIEND. I am so blessed to have several sisters in Christ, who I can turn to when my heart hurts and they can turn to me as well. Proverbs 18:24 reads “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” This is talking about Jesus as our brother who is close to us. But also, can refer to the fact that if we help others in their time of need, we can depend on them when we have bad days. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 reads “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together they will keep warm; but how can one be warm alone. Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” This verse tells me that there is a purpose for us to have friends we can turn to. I have always liked the “threefold cord.” What a beautiful word picture! That is telling me, if we have God in the middle of that cord of ourselves and our friend, we will be stronger than we can even imagine! Find someone who you can talk to and know, whatever you tell them, will stay between the two of you. What a blessing, friends are in our lives!
1John 4:7-8 reads “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” How simple are those verses! When we see the world enjoying loved ones and we wish we had that opportunity also, we have to remember that the ultimate love towards us belongs to God. We might think we don’t have any visual signs of His love like we use to with flowers or shakes given us by our loved one, when they were with us. Well, wake up! Look all around you! Who gave us those beautiful flowers to enjoy? God did not have to give us beauty in nature! Who gave us those juicy strawberries to eat? God did not have to give us taste buds to enjoy fruit! But He did for us; to make us happy and loved. The ultimate, of course, was God gave us His one and only Son, Jesus Christ, to save us from our sins. God has prepared a place for us to spend eternity! How blessed we are!
Am I going to get a strawberry shake or blizzard from DQ on February 14th? Yep! I will be in that drive-thru line! When I feel so sad that day because my husband has been gone 15 years and we can no longer be together and when I see all those smiling faces on the media, I will remember to cherish the memories of bygone days. I will remember Who loves me more than anyone else. God can help us out of those dark places and turn us to His marvelous light!
If your loved one is still with you, whether it is a parent-a brother or sister-a spouse-a friend, tell them how much you love them. Send a prayer our way. Give us a hug. Smile at those you meet in the grocery store. Those small gestures can raise a person’s spirits beyond what you can imagine.
Remember, “God is love.” Man’s love is temporary and God’s love is eternal! Love you, my friends!
Till next time!
Keela