INSECURITY TRAP OF COMPARISON
I have been in this comparison trap of insecurity. Have you? I compare myself to: other women who seem to have it “all together;” to speakers at conventions and tell myself that I will never be able to measure up to their abilities; to couples who are my age and the reality that I have been a widow for almost 15 years and I will never have those adventures they are able to go on; to other authors and don’t understand why their books sell millions and mine sit in the cabinet; to those women who are on the magazine covers that tell us that others are younger, prettier, healthier, skinnier. I know that you compare yourself to some of these things and you have your own insecurity traps that try to bring you down with your comparison, that cause you to not fulfill the actual purposes that God has given for your life. Why do we do that to ourselves? It only impacts our lives negatively, brings heartache, affects our prayer life, our confidence, our contentment, our service and we lack the ability to have a fruitful life.
The Bible is full of insecure people. One example is King Saul in 1 Samuel. Chapter 9 verse 2 says speaking of Sauls father, Kish, “And he had a choice and handsome son whose name was Saul. There was not a more handsome person than he among the children of Israel. From his shoulders upward he was taller than any of the people.” So, in other words, he was a hunk! Saul became jealous of David in 1 Samuel 18. When David came back from killing Philistines, the women danced and sang around him. Saul compared himself to David. This caused Saul to become depressed and even to the point of trying to throw a spear at David to kill him. This insecure trap of comparison sent Saul into a downward spiral of mistakes and ended up with him losing his kingship.
This trap overtakes every part of our lives. We can have pride and jealousy to the point of becoming focused on all the negativity, instead of focusing on what God has actually given us to do while we are here on this earth. Have you ever thought about this? Insecurity comes when we don’t believe what God says about us. If our identity is secured to people and what we feel about them or their measurements about us, then we are putting this world before God. The things of this earth do not matter and are untrue. The things God has told us about ourselves does matter and are the only truth! Proverbs 3:5-6 reads “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Verse 26 of that same chapter says, “For the Lord will be your confidence.” When we turn our focus from God and become insecure because of what we perceive others to be, we are comparing ourselves to earthly beings. Proverbs 4:25-27 reads, “Let your eyes look straight ahead, and your eyelids look right before you, ponder the path of your feet, and let all your ways be established. Do not turn to the right or the left; remove your foot from evil.” In other words, stay in our lane. Stay in the lane God has purposed for us while we were still in our mother’s womb. Don’t distract yourself and let yourself go down that rocky earthly path.
In Mark 12:42-44, we read of Jesus at the temple. He saw the rich giving much to the treasury. A poor widow came and put in two small coins, which only equaled a couple of cents. She did not look at the rich and think, wow, I can’t give that much. I might as well go on home. No. She gave what she could, possibly all she had. She did not compare herself with the rich. She did what she could. That is what God expects us to do. Do what we can. We all can’t be preachers, elders, speakers or authors. Serve the Lord with all that WE have within us. This widow knew she was loved by God. She knew she did not have earthly riches or possessions. But that did not stop her from doing what she could. Jesus saw her worth. Jesus saw her obedience and service. Jesus saw that the widows two little coins mattered as much, as those who could give much more.
Jael in Judges 4, is only mentioned once in the Bible. Deborah who was a prophet and judge, was very evident in this chapter also. To make this explanation short, I will tell it this way. Sisera was a bad guy who Deborah knows needs to be killed. He went into tent of Jael to rest. Jael ended up hammering a tent peg into his temple, which of course killed him. Jael was a nomad wife of Heber. She knew how to use a hammer and use a tent peg. So, she used what she had and used what she knew to fulfill her purpose. She didn’t think, ‘I am not as good as Deborah. I can’t do what she can do.’ No. She did what her purpose was given by God. The scripture says, “And the hand of the children of Israel grew stronger and stronger…” as a result of her service.
I have felt that those who “are out there” doing their talents and purposes and are so visible to others, are worth more to our God. But that is so far from the truth. God wants us to do our best-with what we have-with what our God given abilities are. Whether we are scrubbing the bathroom floors at the church building, preparing the communion, organizing the bulletin, or preaching every service, we have to do it with all of our hearts in service to our God. Whether we are caring for those kiddos at home, working on a computer in an office or doing a very visible “in your face” job, you are loved by God and fulfilling your God given service. Don’t compare yourself to others. We are worth as much as we feel another is and so much more than we believe!
In the beginning of time, God created man and woman of value, because we are made in the image of the Trinity. In Jeremiah 31, God tells us that “I have loved you with an everlasting love…” Isaiah 49 tells us that God has “…inscribed you on the palms of My hands.” Romans 5:8 tells us that God gave His only Son, while we were still sinners, because He loves us so much and we are His. The chapter in Proverbs 31, tells women the value we are to Him.
Instead of falling into the insecurity trap of comparison and looking to others of this world for verification of who we are, look to God who created us. Realize that when we compare others to ourselves, we are falling into selfishness, because we want to be like them. God made us all for a purpose. God gave each and every one of us a gift to further His kingdom. Look to God and not this world.
Feeling insecure. We all do it. We all fall into that trap of comparison. God does not compare us to others. He loves each and every one of us and only wants the best for our lives.
Instead of comparing, be a cheerleader and a champion for others. See their service and be thankful for it instead of focusing on what you don’t feel like you can do or be. Get off your media devises when you realize you are focusing on the negative instead of the positive and comparing yourself to them. Philippians 2:4 tells us “Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” Be thankful for what and who you are instead of falling into the insecurity trap of comparison. It is truly a waste of time! It may not be our God given job to feed the 5000 like Jesus did, but it might be our job to be like the little boy who brought the loaves and fishes! (Matthew 14)
Till next time! Keela
(My dad has now been living with me for a month. Some days are a struggle, but we are going to figure it out. However many years either one of us have on this earth, we will strive to make them the best we can!)