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THREE DARK ATTITUDES OF THE HEART

Bitterness-anger-resentment flowed through my veins with every beat of my heart. When you have bitterness in your heart, it tends to consume every part of your mind, body and soul. That is how I felt many years ago when my husband was in a deep depression for two years-every day-every night-all the time.

My last blog I talked about that period of time and how depression can deep-press-on; so I will not go into the details of his depression, but I want to focus on the feelings of bitterness, anger & resentment I felt during that time and how, with God’s help, I got myself out of those feelings. Those feelings were trying to swallow me up, trying to get me to fall into a dark abyss and were hurting me physically.

Webster’s dictionary defines bitter as: “being or inducing the one of the basic taste sensations that is acrid-suggestive of hops (a vine related to the mulberry whose ripe catkins are used in medicine and in flavoring malt liquor)-marked by intensity or severity as of distress or hatred-extremely harsh or cruel-a resentful attitude.” I visualize a baby the first time they try a lemon or a pickle. The way their little faces pucker up showing that they do not like their taste.

Let me give you a little background on why these feelings were trying to trap my spirit and my body. I was working two jobs, gone from home 12 hours every day. Our daughter was a teenager and so involved with so many activities. I was trying to pay the bills and all the things a household requires. My husband rarely helped at home, nor went to activities of our very active, involved daughter and he slept most all day and night. He did not shave or bath very often, which made our home, as our daughter said, smell like a really bad nursing home. I had tried everything: having someone else talk to him about how he was feeling, I tried tears, I tried showing anger, I tried ignoring how he was being, I tried to get him help professionally-thru counseling & medication, I tried sympathy. I tried encouraging him. There was one time he told me he just could not do anything while sitting in his computer chair. He had been so active in Boy Scouts and he had been an active elder and preacher for church.  I went and sat at our kitchen table. I wrote down 100 things he could do while sitting at his computer to encourage and help others. But none of these things worked. His health and attitude became the definition of who he had become. His identity!

 I started feeling resentful-angry-bitter! Other than going home to my daughter (who I feel God sent me as a surprise, after my husband and I decided to not have any more kids; God knew I would need her to help me through this period of time-bringing me joy and distraction); I started dreading going home even though I was bone tired every day from working so many hours. I would come home and he would be in bed, not seeming to care about how I was feeling. (Of course, he cared. He cared a lot. He blamed himself for everything. If I ever tried to tell him how I was feeling, he would turn around and go back to bed feeling defeated and that he was the reason for all our problems.) I started feeling like a weight was on my shoulders and pressing hard on my chest! I was having trouble breathing. These three dark attitudes of my heart, were starting to consume me mentally and physically! Turning my heart away from God!

One day, I REALIZED what was happening to me. That was my first step. I had to be humble enough to come to the realization of what was happening to me. Instead of giving myself permission to feel this way because of how I felt my life had become, I needed to rather strive towards becoming who God wanted my life to be! I was being so negative, when I had always been such a positive person. At work, at church, I tried to put on a “good” face. I tried to cover up how I was really feeling on the inside. I kept pushing that pain deeper and deeper causing me more pain. I was starting to physically hurt and felt like I was a totally different negative person than I wanted my daughter to grow up with and have as an example. I turned to scripture and God through prayer.

Let’s look at a few scriptures I looked at that showed me how bitterness, anger and resentment were trying to cause me to stray away from God.

• James 3:11-12, talking about the tongue: “Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Thus, no spring yields both salt water and fresh.”
• Hebrews 12:15, the writer here is trying to uplift the Christians at the time of this writing: “looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness, springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled…”
• Acts 8:20-23, this is when Simon the sorcerer saw the laying on of hands to receive the Holy Spirit, he wanted to buy this amazing power, Peter replies to him: “Your money perish with you, because you thought the gift of God could be purchased by money! You have neither part nor portion in this matter, for your heart is not right in the sight of God. Repent therefore of this your wickedness, and pray God, if perhaps the thought of your heart may be forgiven you. For I see that you are poisoned by bitterness and bound by iniquity.”
• Ephesians 4:31-32 reads, “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”
• Psalm 40:1-3 David says “I waited patiently for the Lord, and He inclined to me, and heard my cry, He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my steps. He has put a new song in my mouth-Praise to our God; many will see it and fear, and will trust in the Lord.”

Wow! I had to do something! I started praying. Not just a “normal” prayer, but some gut-wrenching prayers. Prayers from pain deep within and pleading for help. This is what I realized I needed to do after turning to God for answers.

1. I JOURNALED. I cannot emphasize how much that helped me through this time. I have, lightheartedly told my kids that when they are cleaning and going through my belongings when I am gone; when they find a journal with a lighthouse on it, throw it away. I poured my heart out trying to release the bitterness, anger and resentment within me.
2. I TALKED to a TRUSTED friend, who I knew would keep whatever I said and not gossip. I know that when I talk about a situation with someone else, things in my life have become clearer somehow. I lift some of that heaviness off my shoulders and release some of that pain within my heart. That friend heard from me quite often and encouraged me to keep on-keeping on.
3. I turned my attitude of negativity to POSITIVITY. My heart told me to start thinking one good thing about my husband every day and I prayed for him with that in mind all day long. I remember one particular day when I was really angry with him; I could not think of one positive thing about him! So, I prayed thanking God that he was still alive! How sad is that! But it was a positive. Do you know what happened when I started and kept thinking positive things, day after day, about my husband? I started looking at him in a different light. I started getting my positive attitude back.

Nothing in my life had really changed. I was still working two jobs, 12-hour days. I was still bone tired. I was still trying to do everything that a normal household requires. Our unpaid bills were still piling up. My husband was still laying in his bed in a depression.

What had changed? MY ATTITUDE! The good Lord had changed my heart! I realized I was going down a dark path, instead of following the light of the Lord. There were many times after I got my attitude right with God, that I felt that weight of bitterness, anger and resentment trying to push me back down once again. But I took the steps I have told you in this blog, to pull myself up and get myself out of that negativity back into positivity!

This life is hard. Each and every day we just feel that we can’t take another step because the activities of this life seem to weight us down. But there is hope! That hope is our good Lord above! He helped me see where I was going and helped me to see what steps I needed to take to go where He wanted me to go!

So, if you are being burdened by this life’s three dark attitudes of the heart, try these steps I used. I feel so much stronger and closer to God after going through the struggles I have endured. If these steps do not work for you; do something. God has put us on this earth to fulfill a purpose. Being negative-bitter-angry-resentful are not the attitudes that will lead us to heaven. They are what is leading us away from God and peace within our hearts. Dig deep and push those negative attitudes out of your heart. You and the people you come in contact with every day, will be so glad you did.

Till next time!                       Keela

DEEP-PRESS-ON

The deep abyss of my husband’s depression threatened to pull me under into the darkness. This happened many times during the two year, 24-7, period of time that my husband struggled with depression. He had to retire on disability, from his job as a mailman of 27 years because of health issues. He felt like a failure that he could not provide for his family nor be the kind of husband and dad that he wanted to be. He let these overwhelming feelings encompass most of the rest of his life. Two years of that period of time he was in a deep depression.

You are wondering why I dissected the word depression in the way I did with the title. When a person is in a depression, they feel DEEP, right into the very core of their body and mind. Those feelings live so deep that they feel there is no way out of that darkness. Their focus centers on how those negative feelings have become their normal way of life.

You feel that the activities and people of the world are PRESSing so hard on your chest that you cannot hardly breath. You feel the world and activities of the world are pressing so hard that you can feel that pressure all the way to your backbone.

Your attempt to pull yourself out of that dark abyss, do not work and your feelings of depression keep going ON and on and on, taking over your life. Depression defines you. It becomes your life, your focus.

My husband, during especially the two-year period of time, slept most of the time. He did not take a shower or trim his beard or hair for days on end. Any time I tried to talk to him, he would turn whatever I said as a negative and feel he was the reason for whatever we were talking about. So, he would just go back to bed feeling defeated once again.

Turning to medication and therapy was not what he wanted to do. He “fought” me a long time and finally gave in to going to a therapist to help him to sort out what was going on in his mind, chemically and physically. The doctor tried several different types of meds to help. Finally, we found a combination of some medication that seemed to help him feel better and he was able to get out and go to activities our daughter was involved in. One day, I came home from working my twelve-hour day and I could tell something had happened that day that he was excited to tell me about. He said he was feeling so much better. So, he decided to quit taking all of his medication the therapist had prescribed! I probably stood there with my mouth wide open, but I was careful and did not say anything. It took us literally months and months to find the right combination of meds and he just decided to not take them anymore! Time went by and he started falling into that abyss again. I talked to him and he would not agree to go back to the therapist, nor take any of his meds to help him with his depression.  When he made up his mind, there was nothing I could say or do to change it. Frustration, bitterness and anger became my friends! (My next blog, I will share with you how I got myself out of those feelings. I was not going to let his depression define me!) His focus, his life was consumed with those feelings of DEEP-PRESS-ON!

There are many reasons a person can fall into this abyss of darkness. One of them is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Others are, life happenings like: health issues-financial burdens-feelings of inadequacy-feelings the world so easily can give women especially, that you are not good enough, pretty enough-you feel all alone, seems that no one cares. You get up day after day and do the same thing over and over again-get up, go to work, feed the kids and get them to bed, then get up the next morning and do it all over again. All those pressures are pushing you deep down.

A lady was talking to me one day, about her depression. I told her about my husband’s. I told her how it threatened to encompass me as well. She was surprised to hear that there were important men of the Bible who struggled with depression. Paul of the New Testament, Jeremiah of the Old Testament and also Elijah in I Kings 18-19. Because of lack of time and space, I want to talk a few minutes about Elijah and what God showed him and told him to do. (I talk about Paul and Jeremiah in my newly published ladies Bible class book: “God’s Beauty Plan.” Available at: Amazon, Barnes and Noble or Rosedog Books.)

Elijah was a great prophet of God. He was told, by God, to gather together all the prophets of the gods Baal & Asherah-a total of 850 men. He told these men to create an altar to their gods but put no fire underneath. He would also do the same with his altar to “his” God. 1 Kings 18:24 reads “then you call on the name of your god, and I will call on the name of the Lord and the god who answers with fire, He is God!”  The prophets called on their god, Baal. Verses 26 & 29, say there was no voice, no answer, no one or thing paid any attention. Elijah poured water all over his altar and even made a trench that was full of water. Long story short, God sent fire from heaven-with so much power that it burned up the wood, stone, dust and all the water in the trench! Would you be on a great “high” after your God did all of this? Would you feel strong-joyful-able to “conquer” the world?

 Jezebel, king Ahab’s wife, did not believe in the one true God and she plotted to find and kill Elijah. Even after this huge demonstration of the one true God, he felt defeated, tired and all alone. Elijah ran for his life! In 1 Kings 19:4 we read, “but he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness and came and sat under a broom tree. And he prayed that he might die and said ‘it is enough! Now Lord take my life, for I am no better than my fathers’.”  Even afterGod showed his power, Elijah listened to the power of negativity of Ahab’s wife. Have you ever noticed that we can be congratulated, made to feel important, loved-and then one person says something negative and that is what we focus on! We become overwhelmed with the idea that we are defeated-alone-frightened-like we want to run away from life-we lose our self-confidence!

Read 1 Kings 19. I think it is important to point out here that God never condemned Elijah for his depression, but God takes care of his physical needs as well as his spiritual needs. God sends an angel. The angel tells him to eat and drink and rest. The angel told him to travel to mount Horeb. God told him it was time for action. For him to actually get up and go. This lasted for forty days and nights. For forty days and nights Elijah ate, drank, exercised and slept on the way to Horeb. When he got there, he went into a cave. God talked to him there. Elijah told God what had happened and that he was all alone, the children of Israel had all turned their backs on Him. He felt there was no one left who would serve the Lord. Up to this point, God has taken care of his physical needs and now God is going to take care of his spiritual needs. Verses 11-14 are some of my favorite verses of the Bible. God tells Elijah to go out on the top of the mountain. God sends a strong wind that breaks rocks it is so strong. God sends an earthquake and then, He sends fire. But the Lord was not in any of those powerful earthly happenings that can so easily destroy peoples lives! Rather Elijah heard God in a Still Small Voice. In the quietness, Elijah heard God. Our lives are so consumed by the activities of our day. We are so busy! Even though God is always by our side during the busyness of our days, it is not until we stop-meditate-pray-read the Bible-read a devotional book or just sit and think; that we can truly find our Savior! Although the wind, the earthquake and the fire, showed the power of God; Elijah learned that God is not only in the huge parts or happenings of his life, but he could truly find God in the quietness. In the small things we do every day to help someone or show God’s love in simple acts of kindness. Elijah had seen a huge demonstration, with God burning up his altar and the water surrounding it, but God was trying to tell him to stop, listen and realize that he was not really all alone. God is with us in the “large” happenings in this life. God is with us also in our “small” everyday happenings as well. When Elijah stopped, ate, drank, rested, exercised and truly listened to God; he realized that God was there right by his side. God told him there were still seven thousand of Israel who were following His commands. God told him to get up and go. Get back to serving Him. Elijah still had important work to do!

It is ok to be depressed. Things in this life happen and, in our humanness, we get down trodden. We feel alone, just like Elijah did. Being depressed, does not mean we are a bad Christian, we are a sinner, we have lost our faith, we have a spiritual problem or we are not heard by God. We need to admit to ourselves that we are depressed. If need be, we need to reach out to Christian professional who can help us with medication and through therapy. We need to immerse our minds with God’s word. Read the Psalms. Find a set of verses that bring you peace so that when the dark times come, you can turn to those scriptures and hear God’s still-small-voice giving you peace and something and someone to hold on to. Talk to a friend who you know will keep your words in their hearts. Take a walk in God’s beautiful nature-listen to the birds-feel the breeze-just breath. Eat foods that will give you energy and keep your head clear. Drink water to keep yourself hydrated. We should not be lamenting about what we might have lost in this world, but rather celebrating what we have found along our journey here on this earth! Stop immersing yourself in the negative. Don’t keep listening to the negativity by watching tv, reading the internet, hearing others saying hurtful things. Immerse yourself in God’s healing power through the scriptures and the help that He has given to us thru professionals.

I could keep going, but I will stop here. My next book I publish will be about depression and being a care giver of a depressed person. When you start feeling that DEEP sadness PRESSing on you threatening to suffocate you, and it keeps going ON and on and on; I hope you will remember how God helped Elijah through his depression. I hope you will remember that it is not wrong to be depressed but it IS wrong to keep circling and letting yourself fall into the abyss of depression without seeking help!  

Of course, I do not have all the answers. Every person who is depressed, has their own set of reasons for feeling that way. Every person needs different things to help them come out of that dark abyss.

So, what have I learned from Elijah? When I start feeling the pressures of this life that tend to bring me down; I will remember how God helped him. Eat, Drink, Rest, Meditate on God and Get Up and Go into the future that God has for us! We are NOT alone!

Till next time!                Keela

BAD BREATH

I work as a receptionist at an animal hospital. One of my jobs there is to answer the phone. The only way of interaction with the person on the phone is by hearing what and how I talk to them. Even when I don’t feel good. Even when I am grumpy. Even when I would rather be doing anything else other than answering the phone, I still have to be careful what and how I talk to a potential or current customer. This is the first impression that a prospective client will get about our hospital. If I do not talk to them cheerfully and respectively, I could turn someone away from making an appointment. I called another hospital to get some information on a new client that was coming to us. The lady on the phone was rude. After I got off the phone with her, I turned to the other receptionist and told her that I knew how it felt to talk to someone who did not care how she sounded to others. I told her I was going to try to be better about my attitude while talking to someone on the phone, even though they are being the rude one.

Have you ever said something and even as you were saying it, you wished you could pull a string and get those words back in your mouth? I have had so many times in my life that I wish I could do that. Times that my mouth and my brain were not working together. Times that even after an apology, the person pulls their life away from you. The words we say can be so hurtful to others. Once those words get out of our mouth, you can never take them back. That “bad breath” lingers on.

For us to be a light to this world, we have to be careful of what and how we say things to others. We can influence someone to want to know more about God by our “light” or we can be the person who influences them to not want to know more about God, because of the words we say, “our bad breath.” Part of how we live our lives for the Lord, is by what comes out of our mouths. What comes out of our mouths tells others what our heart is like. Matthew 12:33-37 says “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”  The Bibleis just full of passages about our tongue. So that shows me that the tongue, even though it is a small part; it is a very important part of who we are and what we are portraying to others. When you finish reading my blog today, turn your Bibles to James 3 and read that chapter. Some of the words that are used here to describe the tongue are: “a fire”- “set on fire by hell”- “an unruly evil”- “full of deadly poison”- “out of the same mouth proceed blessing or cursing.” How can a person curse one minute and then the next minute try to make others think that they are trying to live for the Lord? Cursing, using the Lord’s name in vain, can only produce negative results. Have you ever listened to a couple of people talking to each other and hear a lot of cursing? It seems like they are “fueled” by each other using the Lord’s name in vain. Somehow, they feel there is power in those curse words. But that type of power is not from the Lord. I started watching a movie the other night and every other word was a curse word. Without those words, the movie might have been a good story. Instead of watching the entire thing, I changed to a different channel. If a person watches and hears cursing all the time, cursing becomes a part of their vocabulary and a part of their heart as well. It becomes easy for a word to “slip out” once and awhile. The other day, at the store, I heard a little boy, about 3 years old, saying some curse words. Where did he learn those words from? Think about! Once cursing becomes part of your life, it spreads like a wild fire to your heart. Cursing is negative. It does not help anyone or any situation.

Gossip is a part of the tongue that is so dangerous! Proverbs 16:28 says “A whisperer separates the best of friends.” Proverbs 18:8 says “the words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles, and they go down into the inmost body.” Proverbs 11:13 says “A talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is a faithful spirit conceals a matter.” And one of my favorites, Ecclesiastes 10:20 says “Do not curse the king, even in your thought; do not curse the rich in your bedroom. For a bird of the air may carry your voice, and a bird in flight may tell the matter.” My memory is not as good as it used to be. If I were to tell someone else, what I might have heard someone say, I might exaggerate or tell that gossip wrong. There was a time that someone started some gossip that was not true about me. I mentioned in another post that when my husband died, his paycheck was immediately taken out of our bank account. The church, and so many friends, helped me during that time to pay my expenses as well as the flowers for the funeral, etc. A friend came to me and said someone had started a rumor that I was giving some of that money to my daughter and her husband. None of that was true and I asked my friend to tell that person to “un-tell” that gossip because it was definitely untrue! How could someone tell such an untruth to others? That hurt my heart that someone would think that of me and in the middle of such a difficult time in my life. In the middle of shock and grief of my husband dying! Words hurt! When gossip is spoken by someone, they feel important that they know a secret. Read Romans 1:28-32. In these verses, are listed evil things. Whisperers and backbiters are listed right along with “haters of God”- “murderers”- “deceitful.” Verse 32 tells us “that those who practice such things are deserving of death.” So, you mean, that if I hear some “juicy” gossip and I tell others, that it could cause my eternal death? Yes!

Our words, can be the reason we receive eternal death or eternal life! Jesus said in Matthew 12:36, “…every idle word that men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment.”

On the other hand, words can be used to the glory of God. Even just listening and not saying anything, is for God’s glory. Our words can give comfort, peace, strength, joy, knowledge, laughter and so many other amazing results. Our words can lead someone to Jesus.

The “breath” that comes out of our mouths can be pure or it can cause someone to turn away from us because it is so bad.

So, the next time you open your mouth, what is going to come out? Will the words be a breath of fresh air or will they be bad breath? If it is bad breath, you might cause someone to go elsewhere in search of answers that will affect their souls!

Whew, think I will go use some mouthwash, from God’s word, after writing this. How about you?

Till next time!                                             Keela

TREASURES

My grandfather yelled, “Get to the cellar!” At 10 years old, I remember saying “Papa Judge, why?” He said look out the window. What I saw is something I will never forget! It was a “perfect” tornado coming across the field. You know the kind that was in the Wizard of Oz. It looked like a dark grey top; swirling, headed our direction. We all ran, with the wind threatening to pick us up off our feet. I remember how fast my heart was racing and how scared I was! Luckily the tornado did not destroy my grandparents’ home and country store in Victory, Oklahoma. (Actually, I am sitting at my grandparents roll top desk that was used in the store, writing this blog post.) There was another time, my brother and I went by bus to visit them and the first thing we did was go to the cellar with our suitcases in tow!

We have had a series of tornadoes in the last couple of weeks, here in Missouri.  that have changed many people’s lives; destroying their homes and businesses. In my town, the sirens have gone off telling us to take shelter. I do not have a basement, so I have to get into the bathtub for safety.

Tornadoes are a part of people’s lives, especially for those who live in Oklahoma or the Midwest, in the spring time. They have to have a plan in their minds before the sirens are blowing telling them to take cover. Is there a certain “thing” that we have in mind to grab on our way to the cellar (or the bathtub?) Of course, kids and pets are on the top of our list, but there are just some things we have that just cannot be replaced! I think of the many albums of pictures that I have of long ago departed loved ones. I think of all the treasures that I have that were my grandmothers and mothers. My mother loved Norman Rockwell. I have her collection now in a lit glass cabinet. Also, in that cabinet are Precious Moments figurines that my grandmother cherished. For several years, I gave my mother, Home Interior Victorian ladies. They are housed in that same cabinet. I also have a very special set of English cottages that my parents had purchased when my dad was stationed in England, in the Air Force. I was born there, so they are very precious to me. None of these things can be replaced! But in reality, it is all just stuff! Collections that we have to dust and position on the shelves in just the right way.  Treasures that have no value to anyone else but ourselves.

The Bible talks about treasures. Matthew 6:19-21 reads “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”  What is this passage talking about? How do we get treasures in our hearts? This passage is not telling us that we are not to have “stuff” that we cherish, but rather that we are not to make that our focus for our lives. Tornadoes can demolish the things we value on this earth, but no one can cause us to lose our faith that is within our hearts; if we treasure our faith, hope and continue to love others as God loves us.

In 1999, my only aunt and uncle were in the middle of the Moore, Oklahoma tornado. Thank the good Lord, that they had a cellar built into the ground of their home, where they survived with several of their neighbors. When my uncle pushed open the door, what he saw was devastation all around him. Their home had been completely destroyed! They did not even have a toothbrush! The only thing standing was the wall around the bathtub and the tub itself, (guess it might have been a good place to go after all!) and a wall where a clock still hung, with the correct time, and on that same wall, a chest of drawers that had not been touched. My aunt was so terrified that it took her a while to climb out of that cellar. Several months later I had a chance to sit down and talk to her about it. I asked her if she had ever wondered why this had happened to her? She answered “why not me?” Just because she was living her life the best way she could for the Lord, did not mean that devastating things will not happen to us. All that stuff that had “blown” away was just that-stuff! God helped to spare them from being killed. She still had her faith and hope in God and in an eternal home one day. Some interesting things happened in the midst of this storm, while clean-up was happening. My uncle had a very special Bible that he had for years and that he could not find. It ended up, that several weeks later, he got a call from a farmer who had found that Bible in the middle of his cow pasture, miles away. When I visited them, last summer, he showed me that Bible. It is duck taped on the outside, underlined and circled passages on the inside. That was not a treasure to anyone else, but him. He was so blessed to have it back. Also, in their attic in a big trunk, there were many quilts that my grandmother had lovingly stitched by hand. Very special but lost forever! A couple of years ago, my second cousin-his granddaughter, just happened to go into a thrift store. There in a bundle, with ribbon tied around them, were some quilt squares. She picked them up and low and behold, there was my grandmothers name, Inez, on one of them!!! It was pieces of one of those quilts that had blown away so many years before! (Sometimes when women got together and worked together on a quilt, each woman would stitch their name somewhere on one of the squares.) My uncle thought he would never see either one of those treasures again. But thanks to some caring people, he was able to get them back in his possession.

Think about how important this stuff is when we look at the big picture. They are important to us in the here and now. But we are here only for a few short years. Then, our kids or grandkids have to go through all this stuff and either get rid of it or keep it. Many years from now, when family are going through my uncles’ things and come across that worn out, duck taped Bible, they are not going to know the importance of it to him. More than likely, it will get thrown away. Treasures from a life time ago, that no one wants to care for, in the present generation.

My daughter tells a story about when they lived in an apartment, that she looked out the window and an older woman’s things were laying out for the trash truck to come and pick up. She had evidently passed away. She had no relatives or friends to take care of all her stuff. The apartment manager had just piled all of her treasures out by the road to be taken to the trash dump. She saw people walking on pictures and not caring about any of the belongings that had been important to her. Feeling sad for the lady, my daughter went down to the pile of things and retrieved an old black and white picture of a boy about 6-8 years old. Had that been her husband or her father as a young man? Nothing written on the back, so no way of knowing, but she took it back home with her and saved it from going to the dump as a piece of garbage, instead of a treasure to that older lady.

At the end of time, every earthly treasure we own will be destroyed. We cannot take these earthly things with us when we die. We will all stand before God on the judgement day. I will not have my pictures or my mother’s Norman Rockwell collection, clutched to my chest. I will stand alone before God who does not see these earthly treasures but rather sees the things that have been treasured in our hearts and shown through our actions on this earth.

Is it wrong to collect these things? Is it wrong to feel pain and sadness when these treasures are taken away from us by a devastating tornado or some other reason? No, but it is wrong if that is our focus of our lives. That is all we are working for on this earth-to have stuff! Our main focus every day is to make money to acquire more “things.” Our treasures should be from our hearts through acts of kindness-being there for people who go through devastating storms-be there for a friend who is facing cancer-being a good example to our children & grandchildren-be joyful in the midst of pain because we know that we have the hope of eternal life with God where all of these earthly treasures mean nothing. Praising God and being obedient servants of His; those are the treasures of the heart!

So next time you are dusting off those treasures, evaluate yourself to see if you are exhibiting treasures of the heart for others to see, or are you just collecting stuff and dust! Treasures! There is nothing we can do about losing our earthly treasures to a tornado, but there is something we can do today-right now-to keep the treasures of our hearts “dusted off” and on display for others to see through us, how to live for our God and Father!

Are you storing up earthly treasures or treasures of the heart?

(The picture at the first of this blog is the lit cabinet with the treasures I have talked about in this blog. And the most important of my treasures-my little great-grandbaby, Delaney Mae! For some reason, when I am trying to post, the picture of Delaney is sideways. So, excuse me if it shows up that way after I post, good grief!)

Till next time!                                Keela

WEEDS

Tears ran down my face, like the hard rain against a window pane. I was standing in front of my husband’s grave. It is about two hours south of where I live now. I do not visit but a couple of times a year. Of course, I feel sad when I visit. But this cry was not a cry of sadness because my husband has been gone for ten years this October; but rather a cry, from the gut, deep inside. Why was I crying? Weeds had grown in between the graves to such an extent that it looked like a weed patch where no one cared. The rest of the little graveyard looked really nice. It had been mowed and tended to, but they do not keep up the area that my husband’s family are buried, in between the graves.

About two months after my husband and I got married, his family bought a family plot. The plot is in a cemetery out of town on a gravel road. At the time, I was just barely eighteen years old, a newlywed, and here we were buying a place to be buried in. Why did we need to be thinking about this at such a precious age? But, as a good newlywed does, I agreed to getting us two spaces. (Later, when my husband passed away, I was very thankful we had done that so many years earlier. That was one less thing that I had to think about in the middle of my grief.)

Years ago, when my husband’s parents passed away and were buried, my husband’s sister, planted all kinds of flowers, plants and even a little tree in the middle of the grave plot. The people who care for the graveyard were told, by her, to leave in between the graves alone because she would care for it. She and her husband tended to it while they were alive. They would come to the sight and throw a blanket down over her parent’s graves and have a picnic. She visited a lot tending to her “little garden.” I personally, thought it was way too much, but she took care of it, so never said anything about it to her.

 But now, because there is no one who tends to the tree, roses, flowers and now huge weeds, it looked like an uncared-for mess! My son, who has to travel to Arkansas for work from time to time, goes by and tries to care for it a bit and makes sure my husband and my headstone are in good shape, but he has not been traveling as much, and it has gotten overgrown.

I know that having weeds overgrowing the area, is not the most important thing but it still hit me hard. Memorial Day is coming and I felt so sad that people would look at the site and think there was no one who cared for the people who are buried there. We put a Bible verse on my husband and my tombstone, but you could not even see it because of the growth. You cannot see the picture of he and I on our 25^th wedding anniversary that we had included on the stone.

Doesn’t it seem that weeds around our house can grow so quickly? We have had so much rain in the last few days. I am sure there are a lot of weeds around my house, that I will need to tend to after the rain stops. They “pop” up so quickly, even before we realize it.

By now, you are probably wondering where I am going with this blog post. Bear with me. Ever since getting back from that visit to the graveyard, I have been thinking about the “weeds” we have in our lives. The sins in our lives that can slowly grow if we do not “pull them out of our hearts” before they get out of hand. Before they become such a part of our everyday lives that before we know it, those “weeds” overtake our hearts and minds. “Weeds” that intertwine with other “weeds” until there is just a jumbled-up mess, we have gotten ourselves into.

There are some powerful verses in the Old Testament that talk about some “weeds” that can overtake our lives. These verses tell us six things that the Lord hates and lists one that is an abomination to the Lord. Proverbs 6:16-19 reads, “These six things the Lord hates. Yes, seven are an abomination to Him. A proud look. A lying tongue. Hands that shed innocent blood. A heart that devises wicked plans. Feet that are swift in running to evil. A false witness who speaks lies. And one who sows discord among brethren.”  Let’s look at each one of these. Proud look-a person who thinks they can do everything themselves without God’s help. Lying tongue-a person who does not speak the truth. Sheds innocent blood-a murderer. Heart who devises wicked plans-every thought is evil and they plan how to use these thoughts for evil. Feet that hurry to do evil-a person who does not think before doing evil, has no conscience. False witness who lies-a person who gossips and lies about what they have heard. Then the last one, is an abomination or the feelings of disgust or repulsion, is a person who sows discord between people of like faith. I certainly do not want to be convicted of doing anything the Lord hates, let alone anything that is an abomination to Him! There are so many people who do not believe that God can get angry with us. These “weeds” and so many others, can overtake our thinking and cause us to do things that are against all that God wants for our lives. 1 John 4:8 tells us that “He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” God loves even a person who might do one or all of the above sins. He is always ready with arms spread out wide for them to turn from their evil ways. God sent His only Son to spread out His arms on a cross for us, to save us from all the “weeds” that are around us everyday and give us hope of an eternal home with him when we die.

Weeds can overtake an unkept area very quickly. “Weeds” in our lives can sneak up on us and before we know it, we have been overtaken by evil thoughts and can become guilty of a sin that the Bible tells us is something that God hates. God does not hate the person, but the acts or lives that a person can be overtaken in before they know it. We cannot let the devil sneak up on us and lead us down a path away from God.

My sons and grandsons are going to the cemetery and pull up those nasty weeds and clean it up so that mess of jumbled weeds does not overtake the area again. Yank out that tree so that those roots don’t overtake the area or do damage to the stones.

Likewise, when we have “weeds” in our lives that have taken root in our hearts and grows, we need to stop that growth and “yank” them out of our hearts before the sin buries the person God has meant for us to be.

So, get those weeds cleaned up that are overtaking your garden. Get those “weeds” of our hearts cleaned up and out. God has a much better plan for you!

Till next time!                                                 Keela