POSTPONED
I do not like that word anymore! The words meaning is to “hold back for another time.” That is what the lady said when I answered the phone at work. It was three p.m. the day before I was to have my knee surgery. I had taken a covid test just the day before. She started our conversation by saying she had some bad news for me. I thought “oh no, I have covid.” But thankfully, that was not the news. She said there were some changes made to the insurance, I have, that the hospital did not know about. I asked if there was something I could do to solve the problem. She said no, that she was the liaison between the insurance and the hospital. She said that I could fill out some paperwork saying that I would pay for the surgery if the insurance did not approve it. She said she would not recommend that because the surgery was around $40,000! Well, since I had not become a millionaire overnight, I had to make the decision to go ahead and postpone my surgery. There was so much preparation I had to do for that date for my surgery. Covid test day before-had to go to hospital for EKG, chest x-ray and bloodwork-got my hair done-got my house good and clean-paid bills that were due-posted my blog-stopped taking my arthritis medication a week before (ouch)-got medication that I had to take night before-even more important, I had got my mind ready to go under anesthesia and get it over with!
Me and my walker went to the back and I burst into tears. Have you ever gotten ready for some plans and then all of a sudden, someone bursts your bubble of positivity? I was not angry because what good would that do anyway, but just felt like my world was not what I had envisioned for the next month of recovery and rehab. My son and granddaughter, had made arrangements with their work to be off to help me. I had made arrangements with my work too. My plan all along has been to retire at the end of the year. After surgery, I had to be off for a month and then I was coming back to work for three weeks and then retire. Work had already hired two new receptionists. Everything was in place.
If you read my last blog, you saw that the original date to go into surgery, had been the twelfth anniversary of when my husband passed away when he went into heart surgery. No “voodoo” about it, but it was making my kids and me, a bit nervous. My sweet dad said ‘that meant my husband would be looking after me.’ The doctors nurse, who sets up the surgery appointments, called me back within fifteen minutes and set surgery up for November 16th. A new goal! A new vision of my near future!
When I went to the back crying, the girls back there were trying to help me because I do not act like that at work normally. Did I need a drink, what was going on? One lady, pulled up a chair in front of me, and started reminding me of things. Things that I had told her through the sixteen years of me working there. Reminding me of my belief, that everything happens for a reason. God is still by my side. This too shall pass. Just take a deep breath and just breath.
I believe that God did not think it was the right time for my surgery. Maybe, I would have passed away during surgery and my kids would always have the reality that both their parents had passed away on the same day. Maybe, I would have gotten an infection on that particular day. So many maybes. But you know what? I don’t have to know. I just have to keep my faith in God and the hope of an eternal home one day.
There are so many examples in the bible, that show us that God has control of the timing in peoples lives. I will list just a couple here.
The book of Ruth. We are studying this book in our Wednesday bible class. The story of Ruth and Naomi is priceless. Ruth had been married to one of Naomi’s sons, who ended up dying. Naomi’s husband died also. In those days, women did not go to a paying job like we do today or have life insurance from their husband. They depended on their husbands to provide for them. They were experiencing a famine, so they both went to the land of Judah. There was food there and that was where Naomi was from. Long story short, Ruth ‘happens’ to glean in a field of the man she was to end up marrying, Boaz. All of the things that happen before this led to a particular ending. In fact, at the very end of the book, it shows a genealogy. Ruth 4:21 reads “…Boaz begot Obed, Obed begot Jesse, and Jesse begot David.” Who was a descendant of David? Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!
Read the book of Esther. This book tells us of a young woman who had parents who were deceased and ended up in the care of her uncle. She “ends up” being chosen to become one of the wives of the king. She did not reveal that she was a Jew. King Ahasuerus had made a declaration that all of the Jews were to be annihilated-young and old-women and children. Esther’s uncle tells his niece of the plan of the king. She decides to go before the king, which at that time in history, could mean her being killed without a formal request from the king. In Esther 4:13-14 reads, “and Mordecai told them to answer Esther; ‘Do not think in your heart that you will escape in the king’s palace any more than all the other Jews. For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”
Both of these women, were important in God’s plan. Read both of these books. All of the things that happened before in their lives, were not without pain, without heartache. Esther ended up saving the Jews at that time, because she ended up in the kings’ favor! Ruth ended up becoming one of the reasons that her lineage led to Jesus being born!
There are so many other examples. Read about Joseph, in Genesis. He had been thrown in a pit and sold by his brothers because they were jealous of him. He ended up a slave, in prison, forgotten and then became a successful man because of his values and willingness to be patient. He says “Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God?” and “God meant it for good in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.” Even though Joseph had gone through so many bad happenings,he realized that God had been with him the entire time to lead up to him fulfilling God’s will. What about Jesus? Jesus went through so much pain and humiliation. Everything that had happened to Him happened at the right timing. The right timing of who was in power at the time of Jesus crucifixion. In history, when He was going to be crucified, the way they did the punishment for crimes was to be hung on a cross. Ended up that hanging on a tree, had been prophesied years before. Have you ever read Ecclesiastes 3? “To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven…”
Do we have the power over our choices? Yes, absolutely! I am not saying that we do not. I am just saying that the events throughout history, have happened to lead up to God’s will for our good. Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
God has a purpose for you and for me. We can choose to obey God and live our lives in His service or choose to take the dark pathway instead of reaching for His light.
Things of previous history, may have been postponed for another time, but maybe God had a reason for that. Was my surgery postponed because of what may have happened? Or maybe because I was meant to touch someone’s life in these next few weeks. Or maybe I needed to learn to have more patience. I have found out in my life when rough times come my way, I end of learning from it.
So, whatever the reason, even if there is a reason, why my surgery was postponed, I need to remember that God only wants the good for me and my life. He is on the throne. God is God. My plans may not have happened like I wanted, but I must trust in Him. He has given His only Son to die for you and me. He loves us and wants the best for us in His time.
When your plans are changed and not going the way you want them to go, we need to remember, maybe God has plans that we cannot see, for something in our future. Maybe we need to go through this trial and postponements, to help guide our future.
Wow, I never thought about the word postponed before. But I don’t think I like that word anymore!
Till next time!
Keela
(As of today, my surgery is a go, on November 16th. On my way home the other day from work, I was thinking ‘Oh, no, what if my surgeon gets sick or the hospital burns down!’ Ha! Isn’t it funny the things we can get our minds thinking about and worried about? No matter what, I know God has me in the palm of His hand.)