SAILBOATS
Looking out my airplane window I saw sailboats on the ocean. They looked like white dots in the great expanse of the blue. I had just left my four grandchildren, daughter and son-in-law. What fun we had and my heart had been filled with so much joy while spoiling them! But as I looked at those white spots in that massive ocean, I felt so sad and so tired. Those little white spots were like the actual amount of time that I got to be with my little one’s ages 10-8-5 and 8 months. I try to go about every six months. That week had sailed by so quickly. Time has a way of doing that, doesn’t it?
Leaving is so hard, tears are shed. But all those years of being my daughter’s mother, prepared her to “fly out of my nest.” Isn’t that what we do as young mothers? Prepare them for being on their own, with their own families?
We must lean on God, when they leave us, giving them to God. We feel we have done all we could, even though we have made many mistakes, we feel we have done the best we could-with what time we had-with what we had. Sure, we make mistakes but we hope those mistakes have become a tool which our children can grow on and from.
Those feelings of sadness over flying miles apart from my daughter, made me think of another time that those feelings of sadness overtook my heart. My daughter excelled in high school and played sports. Upon her graduation from high school, she received so many scholarships for college. She had worked hard for them. She made a decision to go to a Christian college in Florida. In Florida, her family here in Missouri! My husband was not able to make the drive because of his health issues. My parents offered to help us get her there. They drove their car and my daughter drove hers-both cars packed, taking up every available inch in both cars.
I will never-ever- forget the pain in my heart that I felt when I told her goodbye. As I have said in another blog, she was a surprise gift from God. She gave me so much joy, especially in those dark years with my husband’s physical and mental illness. Here I was going off and leaving her so far away from me. I had told my parents to leave me alone after dropping her off, because I was going to cry when we drove away. I did!
Where had all the time gone? I know there are many of you reading this who are going through leaving your kids at college and I know it is hard! Your control is gone. So many questions. Do they get up and go to class? Will they go to parties and be up all night? Will they remember all the values that you have tried to give them all their lives? Will they be safe? So many questions and worries in our hearts!
Speaking from my experience, I have some things I want you to think about.
- You have prepared them all of their lives, to let them go, for this special time when they learn what it means to be an adult. Their faith will be tested. You cannot go back and change any mistakes you made. In Philippians 3:13, Paul reminds us, “…forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead.” Put one foot in front of the other. Go forward. Don’t get stuck in the past land of what ifs.
- It is time for them to leave the nest. An eagle pushes out their young from the nest, when she feels they are ready to fly. She hovers over them to swoop in to catch them if they start to fall. That is the same way we as parents should be. Be their encourager-give them courage that they can do this-be there for them when they fall, just like we were when they fell and skinned their knees. Read Ecclesiastes 3. Verses 1-2 read, “To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven.” Seasons come and they go. It is time to let go.
- Lean on God’s truths. Be courageous, helping your child to have courage for this new stepping stone of their lives! There are so many scriptures you can turn to that remind us of that. Joshua 1:9 reads, “…Be strong and of good courage, do not be afraid nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Isaiah 41:10 reads, “Fear not, for I am with you. Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” You can do this!
- Finally, let yourself cry-grieve. This is one season of your life into another. Our sadness comes from what we have always known in the past and the uncertainty of what the future holds. Allow yourself to be sad. Go into their room and feel the stillness-the emptiness. But after a period of time you will realize that life goes on. It might be different-no more shoes on the stairs to trip over-no more stinky socks-no more music coming from their room that seems so loud that it shakes the house. It is going to be ok!
You will always remember these new changes in this season of your life. Each and every stage of life we will have joys and sorrows. You are going to be ok as long as you lean on the good Lord above. Psalm 91:12 says “For He will give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways.” Reach out to God. He is just right there ready to help you.
Those sailboats that were little white dots in that huge blue ocean, remind me that we have such little time on this earth. Each season is fleeting.
What I have to say to you parents packing up your kids for college is-hang in there-find the joy in this season-you will cry, but don’t hold onto that sorrow-you have got this-take courage! God is watching over them. This phase of your life is just like those little dots of sailboats in that massive ocean. It will go fast and then, you will be loving on those grandbabies, just like I did. I have always thought sailboats are pretty in the water. This season of your life can also be beautiful. Make the best of each moment! You have prepared them for this season of their lives and whether you realize it or not, you have prepared yourself for this season in your life. You’ve got this!
Till next time. Keela