Category: Uncategorized

IS HE THERE?

My husband was standing in the hallway of our duplex, with his hand on the wall, trying to catch his breath, like so many times before. I blinked. And he was gone.

I watch a series on the UP channel called Heartland. The show I watched today was a sad one. The husband of a young couple had passed away. The young wife thought she saw him everywhere. But then, all of a sudden, he was gone. It made me think about, after my husband left this earth and the many times, I thought I saw him in that duplex, where we lived before, he died. My kids knew I needed to find another place to live. Too many tough, painful memories there. The good Lord helped me to find the home I am in now, in an adult community.

When someone close to you dies, your whole life is turned upside down. The grief hits you at the least unexpected times. When I watched the episode of the show, it made me think about the many times I thought I saw my husband after he had passed away. I bawled the entire show, partly for what the young girl was going through and partly for what I had and am still, from time to time, going through today.

There are times that I have questioned, is God there? Why am I going through this painful time in my life when everything is falling in around me? You have been there too. It is not that you don’t have deep faith, but things are just not going right and the pain seems unbearable and you wonder if God is hearing you-Is He there?

Maybe you are going through a divorce. The pain is unbearable. Is He there? Maybe your child has just died of an overdose and you are blaming yourself for not seeing the signs. Is He there? Maybe you have been bullied and told you are no one-a nobody. Is He there? Your confidence has been shattered by unkind words or actions by another. Is He there? Maybe you have lost your home to foreclosure and you are standing in front of a judge because there is no other way out but through bankruptcy. Is He there? Maybe you are at the funeral home staring, through a flood of tears, at a loved one who has died. Is He there? Maybe you are working twelve-hour days, while your husband is in a hospital room and you do not know how you are going to make it because you are so tired and beaten down. Is He there? Maybe you have lost your job and you are “the bread winner” of the family. You keep being turned down by job opportunities. How will you pay your bills and take care of your family? Is He there? Maybe you feel the only way out from under all the pain is through taking your own life. Is He there?

There are so many other hard scenarios that I could write here. Ones that I have experienced or know of those who have experienced them. Times when our lives are spiraling out of our control. When we feel helpless and hopeless. Times when we wonder why God let these things and feelings happen to us or to those we love.

I am sure, by now you know the answer that I will tell you to the question, Is He there? Of course, He is there. We succumb to our own pain and despair and forget to reach out to Him through prayer. All we can feel is our own humanness and our own pain. We forget that He is the FIRST one that we should reach out to when we go through the trials of this life and ask that question. We may not get an answer from God, the way that we think our problems should turn out or in what we feel is a timely manner. But we have to have faith that God is working all things for our good.

At the time we were going through our bankruptcy and foreclosure, I prayed so hard for God to help me figure out how to keep our home. But it was not for my good. Looking back at that time in my life, I see that He was answering my prayer. That home was a raised ranch and my husband could not do hardly any steps towards the end of his life. I now see, that when my husband passed away, that if I had that home, my children and I would have had to sink a lot of money into that raised ranch to get it ready to sell. It ended up I was renting a duplex and I did not have to worry about trying to sell that house and fixing it up. I could not see at that time of my life that God was working for the best for my future!

These verses in Jeremiah 29:11-13 have always spoken to my heart, giving me hope and peace. Jeremiah is telling the Israelites that God will bring them out of the Babylonian captivity in the future. “For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.”

Romans 8:28 reads, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”

Isaiah 55:8-9 reads “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways, says the Lord, For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thought than your thoughts.”

Psalm 27:14 reads “Wait on the Lord, Be of good courage, And He will strengthen your heart, Wait, I say, on the Lord!”

The day I am finishing up this blog, would have been my husband and my 48^th wedding anniversary, if he had lived. As I just typed that, it felt like a dagger went through my heart and tears came to my eyes. The pain is still there and hits me hard from time to time, especially on days like today, even though this October he will be gone twelve years. There were many times during those last ten years of my husbands’ life when I questioned, “Is He there?” My husband changed during the last ten years of his life because of the illness that ravaged his body, which sent me on the “roller coaster ride” with him. That question would hit me hard at times and I would struggle. But if I would remember to reach out to Him in faith and lean on His truths and promises, I could find the peace only God can give.

The verses above gave me and should give us courage that God has a plan for us and our future. A plan for good and not evil. He has a plan for us to help others, through what we have gone through, to realize that there is Hope, that there is a Light that will lead us through the hard times here on this earth.  The next time you question, “IS HE THERE?” answer with a strong, YES! We just have to reach out of ourselves to Him! Thank you, God for Your promises!

Till next time!

                                       Keela

(Some of that “roller coaster ride” with my husband is in my first book, “Finding the Light in the Darkness.”)

ENTITLED

As the person behind me, whizzed around me when the stop light turned green, he gave me the finger (won’t tell you what finger but you can guess). He had followed right behind me in the left lane on the side road. The person could have gone around me at any time. There was not anyone else on that road.

The man on the phone was cursing me out at work. He wanted to talk to the doctor right that second. The doctor he wanted to talk to was in surgery. There was no way that he could talk to her at that moment nor was there any way I would ever interrupt a doctor in surgery! If your pet was the one under anesthesia, would you want the doctor to be interrupted in the middle of that procedure?

A lady called one day at work. I did not have an answer to her question. It was a medical question about her pet. I am a receptionist. Never gone to college for the medical part of my work. She called me incompetent because I told her I would have to have a technician call her back. The same lady had an appointment for her two dogs. When she got there, she came to the cat door and pounded on the door. She had hurt her foot and had a boot on. I immediately went to the dog door and told her to come in that lobby. She just threw the two leashes of her two big dogs at me. I was so thankful that I was able to get both of the leashes before they took off. She fussed at me the entire time because we did not have good enough parking. She was handicapped and felt I needed to tell the doctor to get better parking for her. You can be sure that I took her immediately to an examination room.

Airplanes are requiring people who are flying with them, to wear a mask. There have been many cases of a person not wanting to wear their mask and they lash out at the stewardess. In one such case, he punched her and knocked out a couple of the stewardess teeth.

Why do people feel they are entitled to be first, to not follow the rules, to call you names, to feel their problem is more important than another? I am sure you have come across someone like that in your life. People like that, are only thinking of themselves. They are not thinking of how their actions affect another or the impression they are leaving with them. Also, they do not realize how selfish they are being. They are totally thinking of themselves! When someone feels entitled, they have the belief that they deserve privileges or recognition for something that they did not earn. They believe that the world owes them something in exchange for nothing. They are looking for what they can get instead of what they should be giving.

Let’s see what scripture tells us about being entitled. In Matthew 20:20-28, we are told of the mother of two of Jesus’ disciples, James and John the sons of Zebedee, who came to Jesus asking Him if her sons can sit, one on the right and one on the left, of Jesus in His kingdom. (Compare to Mark 10:35-45, it does not mention their mother asking but the disciples themselves asking.) As a mother of two sons myself, I can understand wanting to have them one on the left and the other on the right of Jesus. We as mothers, only want the best for our children. We want them to become important and successful. The mother above, felt that her sons were entitled to that prominent position.

In Matthew 25:1-13, is a parable told by Jesus of five foolish and five wise virgins who took their lamps out to meet the bridegroom. There are so many lessons we can glean from this scripture, but have you thought of it this way? Five of them took oil for their lamps and five took no oil. The bridegroom was delayed and they all slept. When he was coming, the five wise were ready. But the foolish five who had no oil, pleaded with them to share their oil.  They were told to go get some oil for themselves because they did not have enough for themselves and them too. While they were gone, the bridegroom came, closed the door and would not let them in. The five foolish felt they were entitled, even though they were not prepared, to get oil from the wise.

In both of the examples above, there are many lessons we can learn. In the first one, Jesus makes the point that He came to serve and not to be served. In the second one, Jesus is making the point that we need to be prepared when He comes to take us to our eternal home. I also see the entitlement they felt they had, in the first by feeling her sons had the right to sit by Jesus side and in the second, to not be prepared themselves.

Matthew 23:11-12 reads, “But he who is greatest among you shall be your servant. And whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” Jesus was talking to the scribes and Pharisees that their actions were only to be seen by men and they needed to “take it down a notch” and become humble. This verse speaks to me also, that those who feel they are the only one who should get their needs taken care of before another or someone who feels they are more important than another, need to realize that we are put on this earth to help and serve each other. Not for our own glory!

There are always going to be people like the ones I mentioned at the first of this blog, who feel they are entitled. People who are only looking at themselves and what they can get or who they can push around or have actions that they feel makes them seem more important to get their way or feel by how they act they are more important than you are. Our humanness, makes us want to become angry and snap back at them. Think about all Jesus went through while on this earth. But yet through Jesus’ words and actions we can learn so much. Even at the cross Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.”  Even then, He was putting others before himself.

There will always be times that we start to feel entitled to get something or be someone. Start watching yourself and your actions, and learn to recognize those feelings. Turn that entitlement into servitude. The scripture tells it much better than I can.

Ephesians 4:1-3 tells us, “…walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

Philippians 2:2-4 reminds us, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”

Till next time.

                                      Keela

OPEN MY EYES

Hebrews 11:1-3 “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. For by it the elders obtained a good testimony. By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible.”

In another blog, “BARNS,” I talked about a barn that I see everyday on my way to work, that it is amazing that it is still standing. One corner, looks like it will topple at any time. But it is sitting on a strong foundation, causing it to stand tall. Well, the other day on my way to work, I noticed a house sitting back on a property, that I had never seen before. It is obvious that it was built many years ago. It is one of those houses that are flat on the front and have a porch with pillars holding it up. I have gone this same route to work but never saw it before. Does that mean that it was not there all this time? No, of course not. It has stood tall for, possibly, 100 years.

I want to tell you of a time in my life, that God reminded me, through His nature, that He is still faithful and by my side, even if I do not actually see Him. I had taken my husband to the emergency room at 5am one morning. Made sure he was all settled and left for my twelve-hour day, working my two jobs. After those long hours, I went home to get some things for my husband. Took our dog with me in the car and headed up to the hospital. After checking on him, I had to go to Walmart to get a couple of things. When I was leaving there, I could hardly put one foot in front of the other. I was so tired! But I could see my dog looking at me from the car and that helped me to make it. Sighed a sigh of relief and started the car. As I started out of the parking lot, I immediately knew something was wrong. I heard the thump-thump and knew I had a flat tire. I pulled back into a parking spot. Reached for my phone. Did not have it. In the hurry that morning, I had left it plugged in at home. Saw a young couple and asked them if I could use their phone. She said of course. As they got back in their car, she told me she would pray for me. After calling my son to come help me, I got my dog out of the car and leaned up against the car and started to cry. Not just a little cry but a gut-wrenching cry. I felt that the world had decided to dump on me that long tiring day. With my eyes closed, I raised my head while praying. I opened my eyes and saw the most beautiful display of stars I had ever seen. Were those stars there or did they just all of a sudden appear? Of course, the answer to that is, they were there already. I just had to raise my head through my tears, and be reminded of a God given display of His goodness-His promises-His faithfulness to always be there. Sometimes, we just have to open our eyes and remember that even though we cannot actually see Him, He has given us so many things to help us to have faith that He is real-a baby’s first smile-the beautiful display of the sunrise of a new day-the beauty of the spring and the fall-yes, even a display of His stars with the knowledge that He is always there for us.

The verse above, comes in a chapter of the Bible, that is often times called the hallmark of the faithful men and women who have faced almost impossible situations but kept their faith in God. “Substance” in the verse above, is the reality that there is a God and faith treats “things hoped for” as reality. “Evidence” means proof or existence. Faith itself proves that what is unseen is real. It is more than just belief that God exists. Faith is the realization that we cannot live, in this world, without Him. If we have no faith, we have no hope of a life after this one. We hope for a home with God one day when we leave this world. This world gives us no hope at times. I still had to go to work the next day. My husband would still be in the hospital the next day. But God instilled in my faith, once again, that there is the reality that God exists and He gave me hope, even through the rough times, that God is real and one day I will live forever with Him in heaven. Through the reality that there is a God, we are assured that He spoke this world into existence.

Through God’s faithfulness, we have the evidence of His reality that gives us hope. I feel our faith involves more that belief in God. Our faith comes from deep within. We need to have faith that no matter what happens in our lives, that through our faith, that we can keep putting one foot in front of the other, even when this world seems to get pleasure out of dumping on us.

I have had many days that I felt the world has dumped on me. But once I get back to my faith in God, through His faithfulness, I realize that this world is just temporary. I cling to the faith that there is hope in the promise of heaven when I leave this earth.

This pandemic has shown us that even though we cannot see Covid, that its evidence has been everywhere. It has been a silent-unseen reality by so many who have passed away from it.

That house I just saw, did not mean it had not been there before. Those stars I saw that night did not mean they had not been there already. Covid, even though we cannot see it, has given us the evidence it is there. God gives us so much evidence of His existence even though we cannot see Him.

The next time the world dumps on you, turn your thoughts to God and His faithfulness. The evidence of His reality is everywhere. We just need to open our eyes and gather in His faithfulness-His reality-His love. Is the world dumping on you? If so, open your eyes to the reality that God exists, even if we cannot see Him.

Till next time.

                                    Keela

MY NAMES NOT JACK

When you look at the picture above, what is the first thing you see? Last month, I was blessed to be a vendor at a lady’s event in an arena. I was so happy to be closer to the front door area and by a couple of the speakers. Got my booth sat up and sent pictures to my son and several others. My son called me and asked me if I knew what that big sign behind me was advertising. I had thought that maybe it was advertising an alcoholic beverage and he confirmed. I tried to put a trash bag over the sign but it kept falling down. Then, I realized that was not the only sign in the arena. Alcoholic signs were everywhere! Arenas are usually used for events that have nothing to do with religious events. That is the way of the world. No matter what, we cannot get away from the world.

There are some religious groups who isolate themselves from the world and do not let the world enter into their group. They try to separate themselves from the reality of what the world holds. They are kind compassionate people but because of their isolating from the world, they do not have the availability to share their beliefs with the world. I hold nothing against their views, after all they are trying to keep their families safe and away from the sinfulness of the world. But is that what God wants us to do?

This sign got me thinking. Isn’t it true that we are to live in the world but do not become a part of the world? Let’s look at a couple of scriptures.

Matthew 5:16 reads “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father in heaven.” 

In Colossians 1:9-14, Paul tells the Colossians brethren that he had been praying for them. It reads “For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding, that you might walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God, strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy, giving thanks to the Father who has qualified us to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in the light. He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins.”

Just one more verse. John 1:3-5 reads “All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.”

Let’s think about a few things after reading those scriptures. What does there have to be in order to show light? Darkness! Several years ago, my husband, daughter and I were on a tram ride through a beautiful cave. At a certain point, they turned out all the lights. Fear gripped my heart!  Total and complete darkness! Have you ever been in a situation where it was pitch dark, when you could not even see your hand in front of your face? In our tour of the cave, it seemed like hours before the guide spoke, but it was actually only a few seconds. He lit a candle. Where did everyone’s eyes go to? To that light of course! I felt a sense of peace, taking away that fear of the darkness. In order for us to be seen we have to be in the world. We have to take action to shine our light for others to see. We have to work and be amongst those who are in the middle of darkness of this world. We have to go to the store and shine our lights, when someone, in front of us, does not have enough money to pay for the few items they have in their basket. Do you pretend you do not notice? We all have to drive with those around us, who are cutting us off in traffic. What do you say or show?

In any of the struggles you are or have faced, how are you letting your light shine, even in the middle of the darkness? There have been several times in my life, that I felt like darkness was surrounding me trying to snuff out my light. When I have dwelt on the things that were going on, it just pulls me even further into the darkness. But when I have taken a deep breath, opened my Bible and read scripture or was just still meditating & praying, God helped me to see His light. Even though it was down a dark tunnel, I could see God’s light shining, pulling myself into its radiance once again. Sometimes, when I step back and do something for someone else, I can refocus on what is truly important and can even find peace and even a solution to my present trial.

In order to be a light for others, we have to keep that light burning. We have to spend time with God in order to get that light from Him. During the pandemic, there are so many things we could not do, but yet we have been able to find ways to shine our lights for the Lord. We have to put action into letting our lights shine to the world. We have to get out amongst the dark world in order for out lights to shine, so that the world will seek us when they are having a hard time. They can be assured that our lights are from God. They will reach out trying to get some of our lights within their dark hearts.

In the New Testament, God shows us that He sent His only Son to the darkness of this world, to be an example for us and to save us. Think about this! Jesus, our greatest example, was sent to this world to seek and save those who were sinning or were afflicted (Luke 19:10) He was around a prostitute-eating with tax collectors and sinners-people who were constantly trying to “trip” Him up with their reasoning and finally succeeded by killing Him on a cross. He was around people with leprosy and others who were needing His healing touch or words. Jesus showed us that the only way to shine our lights to this dark world is to come to people where they are and show them the way of eternal life!

It has been almost two months since I published in my blog. My life has not been my own. I have had tests done. (all is well) I have worked a lot of hours during that time. I cannot physically handle the hours like I could when I was younger. When I get home my mind and body are frazzled. I am blessed to still have my dad. What a blessing he is and has always been in my life! I am very thankful and blessed that I can help him when needed on my days off. What I am getting at with all of that, is I have been busy. But I have to think, and turn back to the thoughts, of what is important in this life. Hopefully I have let my light shine through all the busyness of these last few months. Hopefully I have helped to lighten someone’s load or caused them to realize they are living in the dark and they need to search for the true light that comes from God through us. Hopefully I have made a way for someone else to be blessed.

Those of us in that arena that day, who had a sign behind them advertising alcohol, realized that we needed to let our lights shine. There is just not anything we can do about living in this world. I doubt too many women that were able to be at that event or those who watched virtually, even thought I was advertising for that alcohol brand. The ladies there and watching, were there to learn more about God and be amongst other women to be encouraged by their stories and their lights. When I am there, I feel like that is one of my purposes while here on this earth. I want to be able to share and be an inspiration to women through the struggles I have had and when my light was dim, how God helped me to remember He and His light are always by my side and there really is hope when God is the center of our lives.

Well, I said all of that to say “my name is not Jack!” My identity is in what the Lord calls me. I am His daughter. A daughter of the King! We all must be in this world to be able to shine our lights and guide others to our blessed Lord and Savior! Thank you, God, for giving us the ability to shine Your light to others!

Till next time!

                        Keela

OLD BARNS

How is that barn still standing? On my way to work, I go a back way to avoid a busy highway. One barn I see, is close to the road. One corner, that I can see, is still standing, but the rest of the barn has started falling apart all around it. I can tell that it was red but the paint has long ago started chipping away and fading from the sun. Parts of the roof are trying to cave in. Some boards are splintering away and if you were in the middle of the barn, you would feel quite a breeze! I am sure little creatures, have found their way into it and made it their home. I can tell there are things inside the barn. I wonder what treasures a person could find if they dared the hazards of going inside? But what interests me the most, is that only one corner, on this side of the barn is still holding the structure up. The barn has three other corners but I cannot see them from the road. It has no walls helping to hold it up. It is just standing there so strong and tall. Keeping the secrets and treasures it holds intact. It is built on a cornerstone, which anchors the entire structure together. That is what is making it so strong and still standing after years of wind, rain, snow, heat and cold. Through the years, this barn has weathered who knows what, but yet it is still standing, even though it is beat up-broken-falling down, thanks to the cornerstone that was poured so many years ago! The cornerstone is keeping the building standing.

There is a show on tv called “Barn Builders.” I love the fact that in the show, they tear down barns piece by piece, carefully documenting how it was built so many years ago. Then, they “put it all back together” for another owner who might be miles away. I have always liked to look at barns for some reason. I can imagine that the old barns were part of a large plot of land where farmers and their families toiled all of there lives. What stories I would love to hear about who lived there and erected that barn so many years ago. But it is evident that whoever built it originally, knew the importance of a strong cornerstone.

I started thinking that our lives are like that barn. We are broken-falling apart- been “chipped” at-feel like we will fall at any minute because of the pressures of this world on us. The year of 2020, in some ways was like that. So many family members passed away because of the coronavirus-business owners had to close their doors, some forever-families who had not ever experienced anything like this, were literally hungry, standing in lines for hours just trying to get food for their families for that day! The fear encompassed us of even getting out of our homes and breathing the same air that was so full of the virus. For months, we were not able to go to church services. Much of this made so many fearful like they had never before felt.

But guess what, the Bible tells us that WE have a chief cornerstone. That stone is Jesus. In Isaiah 28:16, Isaiah foretells about Jesus.  “Therefore, thus says the Lord God. Behold I lay in Zion a stone for a foundation. A tried stone, a precious cornerstone a sure foundation.”  There are many scriptures that tell us that Jesus is our chief cornerstone. But I will just have you look at, 1 Peter 2-10.

“Coming to Him as a living stone, rejected indeed by men, but chosen by God and precious, you also as living stones, are being built up a spiritual house, a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. Therefore, it is also contained in the Scripture. ‘Behold, I lay in Zion, a chief cornerstone, elect, precious, and he who believes on Him will by no means be put to shame.’ Therefore, to you who believe, He is precious, but to those who are disobedient, ‘The stone which the builders rejected has become the chief cornerstone,’ and ‘A stone of stumbling and a rock of offense.’ They stumble, being disobedient to the word, to which they also were appointed. But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of the darkness into His marvelous light; who were once not a people but now are the people of God, who had not obtained mercy but now have obtained mercy.”

In ancient buildings, the cornerstone was first situated on the foundation and then all of the other stones were aligned to it. The cornerstone is still today, an important part of keeping a structure secure. The Cornerstone of Jesus, is important to us to keep us secure. That Cornerstone of Jesus also keeps us standing. When the “wind, rain and snow” of this world threatens to make us fall, that Cornerstone of Jesus will keep us upright. We may be torn up, feel that all is hopeless, painful physically and mentally, fearful, we may be leaning a bit, but the Cornerstone, of Jesus, keeps us standing and is always there with us if we just reach out to Him.

Unlike the Old Testament priesthood, in which only those who were born into a certain tribe could be priests, all who are reborn into God’s family, that is, all believers and who obey His word, are priest who have the privilege and responsibility of offering spiritual sacrifices to God. There are several phrases in the scripture above that show me that we are loved by God. “A chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people.”

I always wonder if that barn is still standing when I head to work. But so far that strong cornerstone is keeping it from falling. That old barn reminds me that Jesus, as the chief cornerstone, is holding me up. When my husband, grandparents, mother, my pet, my precious friends and mentors, all left this earth, and the days are hard, He was and is strong and keeping me going. I might feel let down by this world, but my God, through His Son Jesus, has and will keep me putting one step in front of the other.

Old barns. I love them! They remind me that I need to hold onto God’s promises when times get tough. Even when we are leaning because of this world, He has a hold of us. He is helping you stand up and keep going. Put Jesus, as the Chief Cornerstone, into your life. You will be glad you did!

Till next time. Keela